Finding My Roots
by Ocean3209
Summary: Who am I? Well, according to the voices in my head, and meaningful dreams, I'm not a human, but actually a humanized puffin. I thought that sounded crazy too, but after going through an adventure of finding my roots, and remembering my past, things might not be so crazy after all. Let's see how I screw this journey of friendship, love, loss, and adventure this time. R&R and Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Finding My Roots

A _Penguins of Madagascar _Story

By:

Ocean3209

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**Welcome, welcome, welcome! Welcome to my story! I hope you enjoy reading this! R&R+Enjoy! **

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**Chapter One**. The Beginning 

I stared at the laptop in frustration, why the hell can't I come up with a story? Last night, I had amazing ideas in my mind. The next morning, I'm brain-dead. My mind works in so many stupid ways. It's basically summer, meaning that the kids are out of school and visiting the zoo for oftend. I _hate _summer.

"GAH! FUCK THIS!" I shouted, using both of my wings to throw the laptop against the wall.

My eyes shot up as I finally got an idea on what to write. I turned to the laptop that broke in half.

'Aw shit,' I thought as I went over to inspect the damage.

I touched it and it sparked. It was sparking for a solid 3 minutes until it finally stopped. It pretty much blew up afterwards. I knew that I shouldn't have stolen that laptop I found in Kowalski's lab.

"GAH!" I grunted in frustration, and started banging my wings against the wall, "WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?"

I slid my back down the wall, and tried to calm down. I checked the time on the alarm clock I made by myself. 7:25 a.m. Still kinda early.

Hans came running into the room 2 minutes later.

"What happened?" He exclaimed, looking around.

"I got mad," I said simply, smiling like a fool.

I'm pretty sure my brother mentally face-winged when I said that.

"That's it?" Hans said, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Ja!" I exclaimed, still smiling like a fool.

Hans started walking out of the room, then poked his head back in.

"Are you coming with us?" He asked.

"To the revenge thingy?" I asked, picking up my Gameboy Advance, then mentally slapped myself for saying 'thingy'.

Hans rolled his eyes, and said, "Leave it to my sister to forget."

"What is it?" I asked, turning on my Gameboy.

"Of course it's the 'revenge thingy!'" He said, throwing his wings in the air and making motions when the words 'revenge thingy' came out of his beak.

"Oh. So I'm not playing Pokémon Yellow?" I said.

"Nein!" Hans shouted.

"But Pikachu's waiting for me!" I whined, plopping on my tail, crossing my wings, and looking at Hans, slightly pouting, similar to a little school girl.

He rolled his eyes, and said, "Ocean, I'm serious. You have to go!"

"No," I said, and turned my back to Hans.

"Ocean, you are coming!" Hans commanded.

"No!" I said, acting like a spoiled little girl.

"Ocean..." Hans warned, seriousness in his voice.

"NO!" I said, refusing.

"Okay then," He said, walking out the door.

I turned my head around, confused. It wasn't like Hans to just give up like that. Weird.

I turned around again, my back facing the door, and got up.

Big mistake.

"TICKLE FIGHT!" Hans shouted, as he tackled me, and started tickling my sides.

Immediately, I started squealing and squirming around. I am EXTREMELY ticklish. All you have to do is just poke me in the side and I'll start squealing and giggling like a One Direction fangirl in one of their concerts.

"No!" I screamed, tears running down my eyes as I squirm around helplessly.

"Are you going?" Hans asked, pinning me.

"No!" I cried out, and he started tickling me again, "OKAY! I'LL- hehehehehe! -GO!"

"Good," He said, getting up, and walking out the door. Leaving me on the floor, still giggling pathetically.

Hans poked his head back in, and said, "And wear something nice."

I put on my 'WTF face', which looked kinda silly with the giggling I was doing.

I finally recovered from the tickle ambush, and got up.

"YOU EVIL, EVIL PUFFIN!" I shouted.

"Danke sissy! You are too kind!" I heard Hans respond.

I rolled my eyes, and walked out the room, grabbing the Nook tablet and head phones I "borrowed" from some kid visiting the zoo. I turned on the shuffle, "Good Time" by Owl City ft. Carly Rae Jepsen on my Nook, plugged in the head phones, and put them on. I checked the time again, 7:32. Clemson's still asleep. Well, not for long.

"Haha..." I chuckled to myself, "Time to wake up a lemur."

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I left the secret lair in the float in the Puffin Habitat at the Hoboken Zoo. Aw man. At least it was a secret. Sometimes, Hans is right. I do have a big mouth.. beak... eating thingy...

Right away, someone ambushed me. That someone covered my eyes with _something. _Something smooth.

"Ah!" I screamed, that did NOTHING.

I sniffed the air, it smelled like salt. There was only one resident in the Hoboken Zoo who smelled like salt.

"Savio! Not funny!" I said, slightly pouting.

Said boa constrictor chuckled and remove his tail from my eyes.

"I thought you would missss me," Savio said, pulling me closer with his tail.

"How the heck did you get in here?" I asked, then mentally _slaughter_ myself. A normal girlfriend would be like, "Hey baby, I missed you too!", "Good morning Savio! You're the greatest boyfriend in the world!." Yeah, but I say _that. _Of all things. What the hell is wrong with me? Yes, I'm his girlfriend, deal with it.

Savio grinned at me. Oh no, I know that grin anywhere.

"No!" I shouted, as I flew out of the habitat.

Savio grinned again, and reeled me back with his manipulative tail.

"Let'sss go for a ride babe," He said, grinning the certain grin that made me run.

"No!" I shouted again as Savio placed me onto his neck with his tail, "I swear, if you-"

Guess what the my psycho boa constrictor boyfriend did? Yeah, he _jumped_ out of the Puffin habitat, with _me _on him. And, like how movies and stuff like that start out. My Nook, it started playing "Summer Love" by We The Kings, and the head phones "accidentally" unplugged, so the song was playing for all to hear. Sometimes, it's like I'm in a movie or something.

"How... Appropriate," Savio said, and started slithering MAX SPEED around the zoo.

Darn, I'd kill him if he wasn't so damn attractive.

Where was I? Oh right. Ahem. And like the awesome person I am, I jumped off. I put on my sunglasses, jumped on my jet ski, escaped the giant flood-explosion that the zombie apocalypse caused, and rode off into the sunset. I say my cocky catch phrase, "Fuck this! Shit just got real," while the ending credits start playing in the background.

Huh? What about my psycho boyfriend? I'm telling you something that's actually entertaining, and you just want to hear about _the lame incident with me and my psycho boyfriend_? SHEESH. Talk about selfish much. But if you insist, you cry baby. STOP CRYING. Do you want me to call your mommy? ANSWER ME!

Oh. Wow. Okay.

I. AM. SORRY. That was just the Hoboken part of me talking. I lived here for like, 4 years, yep. Don't expect me to sugar coat anything. Where was I again? Oh yeah.

And like the stubborn puffin I am, I refused to jump off and held on. Mostly because I cared about my Nook.

"YOU ARE MAD!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

"Madly in love with you," Came the answer that made me want to punch him and kiss him at the same time. Paradox right there.

"I meant insane, babe. Sometimes, you're so hopeless," I said, clearly annoyed.

"Hopelessssly in love with you," He replied casually.

I mentally facewinged, I kinda walked right into that one.

And since I couldn't do much, I started begging.

"PLEASE SAVIO! PLEASE LET ME GO!"

"I will never let you go."

"You know what I mean!"

Curse you and your teasing, Savio! Grrr...

"Alright babe," Savio finally said, and he gently sets me in the lemur habitat.

"Thanks baby," I said, waving good-bye.

Time to wake a lemur!

Well, after I go back and get my headphones...

Hey, don't look at me like that! Those were hard to steal! The kid was clinging like mad!

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With my _amazing _ninja skills, I snuck into Clemson's 'lair', or so he calls it, and proceed to wake him up.

Fuck that idea, I'm planning on scaring the shit out of him.

Pardon my language, I curse a lot, don't I? Hell yeah I do. I fucking live in Hoboken! People shout curses every day, I'm serious. Not kidding.

I snuck up to his bed, and prepare to scare the shit out of him.

I pulled the blankets up, and there were only pillows there.

"What the..."

"DON'T THINK I DIDN'T SEE YOU!" Was what I heard before I was tackled to the ground by a familiar red lemur.

"CLEMSON! Get off of me! This is just too awkward!"

Said lemur got off of me, and started being a spaz.

"What were you thinking entering _my _lair?!"

"I was thinking, 'Hey, the spaz is probably asleep now, so I'll be so kind to wake him up.' Now I'm thinking, 'Clemson, I'm telling Hans that your appearance is fake.' I like that idea, don't you?" I said, smirking,

Clemson got off of me, and punched my wing. Yeah, that 'You can't hit a girl' rule doesn't work in Hoboken.

"Well, I'm telling those black and white buffoons that you have a sensitive beak!" Clemson countered, poking my beak, hard.

I sneezed, and held my beak. I'm pretty sure Clemson bruised it.

"Owww..." I whimpered, "You know how sensitive my beak is..."

"Dude, don't be such a girl, despite the fact that you _are_ a girl," Clemson said.

"Crap, I think I'm bleeding," I said, holding my beak.

Clemson rolled his eyes, and handed me a towel.

"T-thank you," I said, pressing the towel against my nostrils, which probably came out as, 'Fank qu.'

Clemson pinched my cheek for some weird reason.

"What the heck?" Which probably came out as, 'Hut da hack?'

"I just realized that I'm a lot older than you," Came that simple reply.

"Okay?" I said, confused, "Are we going to the full-out revenge strike or not?"

That probably came out as, 'Oka? Ore wea gooing to da full aut ravengae strake or noat?"

"I guess."

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"I can't believe this is the only form of transportation that we have," I complained, crossing my wings.

"I can't believe Savio actually agreed to this," Clemson complained.

"Don't be so negative, you two! It could be worse," Hans said.

"We're traveling inside a snake!" Clemson and I shouted at Hans.

"At least we know this snake," Hans said.

"This snake is my _boyfriend_. I am traveling _inside_ my boyfriend. He _swallowed _me," I said slowly.

"Looks like _some people_ need couples counselling," Clemson joked.

"Hey, Clemson, do everyone a favor?"

"What?"

"DIE!" I shouted, slapping him in the face.

Clemson punched me in the face in return.

"Uh, guys? I don't this is the right time to-" Hans started before I interrupted him with my battle cry, and started punching Clemson.

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Clemson shouted, and scratched my eye.

"YOU'RE ONLY MAKING ME LOOK COOLER!" I shouted, punching him in the face.

"SHUT UP!"

"YOU SHUT UP!"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Clemson and I started arguing. Hans was the unlucky one stuck in between, literally.

"QUITE! BOTH OF YOU!" Hans shouted, "Look, it's going to be a long ride, and the last thing I want to have is my best friends fighting."

"Goody Two-Shoes," I muttered, and Hans lost it.

"**I AM _NOT _A GOODY TWO-SHOES!**" Hans shouted in my face.

"**YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE BASICALLY DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL!**" I shouted back in his face.

"**YOU'RE DADDY'S LITTLE ACCIDENT!**"

"**TAKE THAT BACK!**"

"**GUYS! KNOCK IT OFF!**" Clemson joined in on the shouting.

"**DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!**" I screamed, punching Clemson.

"**DEAL WITH IT!**" He shouted back, punching me in return.

"**I SAID STOP FIGHTING!**" Hans shouted.

We basically started screaming and shouting at each other.

"Wait, did you hear that?" I asked, after hearing a noise.

"I think Savio swallowed something," Hans said.

"I wonder what," Clemson said.

After he said that, a grey mouse appeared next to us.

Wonder what _he's _doing here.

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"Savio has sent me, he said to, ahem, "**KNOCK IT OFF!**" Can you throw me back out?" the mouse told us.

"Thanks for the message, Crown. If I throw you back out, will you tell Savio that his girlfriend says, "You're doing a great job, and I love you. But, **YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ME! **Love you baby!" Got that Crown?" I told the mouse, and high-fived him.

"Got it!" Crown told me, and I threw him back out.

Crown's kinda like Hoboken's little messenger, he's extremely loyal, but don't estimate him! You only make that mistake once. Why do you think Hans is flightless? He just uses the 'I never learned' excuse, because he didn't want anyone knowing that his wings got clipped, by a _mouse. _

"Nice kid," Clemson said, "With a taste for mischief."

"Ja," Hans agreed.

"So... Let's play a game," I suggested.

"What should we play?" Clemson asked.

"How about Who Am I?" Hans suggested.

"I'm going first!" I volunteered.

"Spock," Hans and Clemson said in unison.

"How did you know? I didn't even do anything yet!" I said, slightly pouting.

"You were watching Star Trek last night," Hans said.

"You were quoting Star Trek this morning," Clemson said.

"Yeah, but- Wait, how did you know it was Star Trek that I was quoting?" I asked, suspiciously.

"Lucky guess," Clemson said, shrugging.

"Dude, I'm not an idiot-"

"Could of fooled me."

"DUDE, STOP LYING."

"Stop arguing. Let's discuss the plan," Hans said, interrupting the starting argument.

"Okay, since Clemson and Savio have grudges against the over-grown rats, they would be handling them, right?" I said, trying to clear things up.

"Yep," Clemson said, "And that leaves you and Hans with those black and white buffoons."

"Hans and Ocean! Brother and sister!" Hans exclaimed, "The dynamic duo! The petrifying pair! The courageous corporation!"

"The intimidating intellects! The adventurous avian! The fearsome foes!" I joined in.

"The babbling beaks," Clemson said, annoyed.

"Oh, shut up," I said, "Your turn."

"Okay, I'm really cool," Clemson said, giving a hint, "I'm loved by many."

"Seriously, you start with that?"

"Katy Perry!" Hans exclaimed.

"She's not _that_ cool," I said, "Songs are awesome. For pop songs."

I really dislike pop music. My opinion.

"No, I'm an actor, but I'm also a producer, director, and writer," Clemson said.

"Uh, Brad Pitt?" I guessed.

"Brad Pitt's just an actor and producer. Silly," Hans said, "Steven Spielberg?"

"Hypocrite. Steven Spielberg is a director, and producer."

"Wrong, both of you," Clemson said.

"Antonio Banderas?" I asked.

"NO, but he is really cool," Clemson said, "I spend most of my childhood in New York."

"He is really cool. I loved his work in The Mask of Zorro," Hans said.

"I loved that movie! He was also amazing in Assassins, Philadelphia, and I absolutely adored Interview with the Vampire!" I exclaimed.

"Interview with the Vampire? It's my favorite vampire movie!" Clemson exclaimed.

"With most of my favorite actors."

"They were really good in that movie," Hans remarked.

"Really good? More like fantastic! Okay, uhmm, Ving Rhames?" I guessed.

"Nope, he's just an actor. I'm still alive," Clemson said.

"Uh, Emilio Estevez?" Hans asked.

"Nope. Good guess though."

"This is going to take forever," I said, groaning, "Charlie Sheen?"

"HE'S JUST AN ACTOR!" Clemson said loudly and slowly, "I'M AN ACTOR, PRODUCER, DIRECTOR, AND WRITER."

"Sorry," I said, not really meaning it, "This is gonna be a long ride... Alan Alda?"

"NO. And don't you dare say Tommy Lee Jones! Even though he was awesome in Batman Forever..."

End of Chapter One

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**Am I dead yet? **

**Hans: I don't think so. **

**I will die if you people don't review! *starts gasping for air* *pretends to faint* *gets up* *falls on the floor* *on my side* *gasps again* *pretends to faint* **

**Clemson: Your skills are a little rusty. **

***gets up* I know. REVIEW! And my first chapters tend to be really long, or really short. **


	2. Chapter 2

Finding My Roots

A _Penguins of Madagascar _Story

By:

Ocean3209

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***wearing a cast around my left wing, and bandages are covering beak* Welcome back to- OW! *holds beak with right wing* **

**Hans: *sighs* I got this sissy. *picks up index cards* *reading out loud* Welcome back viewers! Ocean broke her left wing and beak during an accident that involved alcohol, and a loose screw. So I'm taking over! **

**No you're- OW! *sits down in armchair* *grumbles* Fine. **

**Hans: This chapter contains half of what happens during the revenge! And- *stops reading* *****punches Clemson***

**Clemson: Why'd you do that?!**

**Hans: Card said to. *goes back to reading out loud* R&R+Enjoy! **

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**Chapter Two**. Full Out Revenge Part One

_Kowalski's POV_

It was an average summer day. Barely cloudy, temperature at an average upper 70 and mid 80 degrees Fahrenheit, sun shining at a reasonable scale.

"KOWALSKI!" Skipper's roar echoed throughout the HQ, calling for me.

I sighed in defeat, I do not want to answer him, but it's not like I have a choice.

"Coming sir! Just let me finish the last touches on my latest invention!" I shouted back, and looked at the resting device on the table.

No answer, I nod to myself. Skipper allowed me to finish. He has probably evacuated the HQ by now, expecting another disastrous outcome of my inventions, again.

That device was my latest invention into quantum physics. Many people don't understand, go figure. No one has my high intellect and IQ. To those who don't know, quantum physics is a form of physical phenomena, a branch of physics dealing with it, where the action is on the Planck constant. The Planck constant is a physical constant reflecting the sizes of energy quanta in quantum physics. It's after Max Planck, one of the founders of quantum physics, who discovered it in 1900.

I heard the urgent beeping from the Snake-Rader.

"Oh no..." I muttered to myself, and looked at the screen.

The Snake-Rader was built for specific reasons, the main one is to track Savio. Well, that's the only reason.

I shuddered as I recalled the memories of battling Hoboken's most feared animal.

Now, the same snake was heading to our zoo.

I have to warn the others!

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_Ocean's POV/My POV_

"Uh, Sylvester Stallone?" Hans guessed.

We've played for HOURS, and Hans and I still haven't guess who Clemson is.

"Nope," Clemson said.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" I shouted, "Grr... Keenen Ivory Wayans?"

"No, but that was a good guess."

"Am I dead?" Hans said.

"Nope," Clemson said, seriously.

_Thump. _

"Did you feel that?" I asked.

_Thump. _

"There it is again!" I said.

_Thump, thump. _

"Brace for impact!" Clemson shouted.

I don't want to talk about what happens next.

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I still remember it, Savio _regurgitated _us.

Now, we were washing up in the duck pond in Central Park, discussing our plans.

"That was surprisingly fun!" Clemson exclaimed.

"NO, IT'S NOT!" All three, Hans, Savio and myself, shouted at Clemson.

"I'm scarred for life..." Hans said, shuddering.

"I was _swallowed_ by my _boyfriend_," I said, recalling the awful memory, "How many girls can say that?"

"I think all your arguing gave me a ssstomach ache," Savio said, and groaned.

"I'm sorry, babe," I said, hugging him.

"I thought it was fun," Clemson said, and looked around, "Where did Crown go?"

"Sssent him back to Hoboken," Savio said.

"Clemy, buddy," Hans said.

"What is it, bro?" Clemson asked.

"Dwayne Wayans?"

Oh, right. We _still _haven't guess who Clemson is. YET.

"Nope," Clemson answered.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" I screamed, and sighed, "Come on, we all have overdue revenge that needs to be settled."

I then took out my famous jagged dagger. Alright, _infamous_ jagged dagger. I always, and I mean, _always_, use this dagger on my victims. You see, I'm a master assassin, I've killed more than you would suspect.

Why are you looking at me like that? What? Thought I was a _nice_ girl? Or you think I'm some cold-blooded killer? You're being paranoid, _Savio_ is the cold-blooded killer, you see, I'm the _warm-blooded_ killer. Sheesh. People can't tell from the difference from a cold-blooded and warm-blooded killer. I mean, do I _look_ like a reptile, insect, arachnid, amphibian, and/or fish to you? SHEESH.

The other three nodded, and we split up in two groups; Savio and Clemson, and Hans and myself.

There's no stopping us this time. And I mean it.

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_Skipper's POV_

Typical morning. Lemurs are being a pain, Kowalski working on the world's next doomsday device, Private maintaining the cute and cuddly status, Rico, ugh, cuddling his doll. Everything seems to be in place.

"I don't like it," I said to myself, "Something's wrong."

"You're just being paranoid, Skipper!" Private exclaimed, "Enjoy the first summer morning!"

I sipped at my cup of joe, and scowled in disgust.

"Private, did you touch the coffee machine?" I asked, setting down my mug.

"I thought you needed something sweeter to start this wonderful day!" Private exclaimed.

I sighed, he was too naïve for his own good.

"Skipper! Skipper!" I heard Kowalski shout, and I turned around to face him.

He had just ran out of his lab, holding what I recalled to be the Snake-Radar. It was beeping extremely fast, as if a snake was right inside the zoo.

"It's S-s-" Kowalski started, panting.

A scream drowned out the rest of his sentence.

[**][][][][][**]

_My POV_

I heard the screams coming from the lemur habitat.

"Perfect," Hans said, and we went into hiding.

As we both expected, the Penguins jumped out of there HQ.

And as we planned, a metallic net dropped onto them.

"What the deuce?!" Skipper shouted, and Hans jumped out of the hiding. Skipper's rage soon came afterwards as he shouted, "Hans!"

"And..." I said, still hiding.

I heard Rico growl when he heard my voice.

"Ocean!" I exclaimed, jumping right next to Hans, holding my dagger.

"A team-up!" Kowalski exclaimed, surprised.

"Why so surprised? Wouldn't you expect the brother and sister duo?" Hans said, that evil look playing on his features.

It's scary, really. When Hans is on duty, he's so evil that it frightens me and Clemson, when he's not on duty, he's happy go-lucky, living without a care in the word.

"We're just going to take over your HQ now, and then the zoo," I said simply, smiling like a fool.

"No way, sister!" Skipper shouted, "Rico!"

"Kaboom?" Rico asked.

Skipper nodded, "Kaboom."

Rico regurgitated a bomb, but that did nothing to the net.

Hans and I smirked in unison, and we started circling them slowly.

"Well you see..." Hans said, still smirking that smirk that scared the crap out of me.

"This net is..." I continued, still smirking, and twirling the dagger in my wings.

"Made of the most..."

Rico grunted angrily, "Faster."

"We were just getting to the point!" Hans and I shouted, we both hate being interrupted.

"Can you just got to it a little faster?" Private asked.

"You people have no appreciation for suspense!" I shouted.

Hans sighed, and joined in, "Ja! We practiced that!"

"You were saying?" Kowalski said.

"Oh, right," I said, and cleared my throat.

"Indestructible of metals!" Hans and I exclaimed, and we looked at each other.

"Right," Kowalski said, "I bet it's made of copper."

"Kowalski, what are you-" Private said, but Skipper silenced him.

"NO! It isn't! It's made of Iridium! Do you know how hard it was to make this?" I snapped, then quickly covered my beak.

"Sissy, why did you tell them that?!" Hans shouted at me.

"It's not my fault! You were going to tell them anyways!"

"Nein, I wasn't!"

"Ja, you were!"

"Stop that! We're on a revenge mission!"

"You started it!"

"Nein, I didn't! You started it when you were born!"

"THAT'S IT!" I shouted, and tackled him, "YOU SHUT UP!"

"STOP THAT!" Hans shouted, "WE'RE OFF TRACK!"

"THE ONLY THING THAT OFF TRACK IS YOUR TRAIN OF THOUGHT!"

The Penguins were just watching us arguing and fighting. I'm pretty sure Skipper had a plan though. He always had one.

"I'm switching positions!" Hans declared, and walked over to the lemur habitat.

"FINE! I DON'T NEED YOU ANYWAYS!" I shouted, and sat down with my wings crossed. I was clearly angry, and maybe a little sad.

"Are you okay?" I heard Private asked.

"PRIVATE! We don't associate with the enemy!" Skipper shouted, and I heard a flipper made contact with skin.

I got up, and said, "NOT OF YOUR CONCERN!"

I heard a cutting sound. Like a diamond against metal. Diamond against metal...

"HOLY SHIZ-NITS!" I shouted, and next thing I know, Rico had me pinned.

[**][][][][][**]

"Rico!" Skipper commanded, "Tie her."

"Uh... Can we talk about this?" I asked, "So, Kowalski... Any new inventions lately?

"Yes, actually! I've been working on a ray that would-" Kowalski said with excitement and Skipper slapped him.

"WE DON'T ASSOCIATE WITH THE ENEMY!" Skipper shouted.

"What a shame," I said, "I really wanted to know. Too bad Skipper's being a Pike."

I flinched at my last sentence, I just made a Star Trek reference.

"Pike? As in Captain Christopher Pike from Star Trek?" Kowalski exclaimed with excitement.

"No," I quickly lied, I'm really good at lying, "I meant the Northern Pike, a carnivorous fish that refuses to show any signs of weakness to its prey."

"Skipper does sound like a Northern Pike," Private said.

See? Really good at lying.

Kowalski's look turned skeptical, and start making all-too-familiar movements with his flippers.

"My mind to your mind..." Kowalski said, I knew he was referring to the Vulcan mind meld.

"Resist, resist," I said to myself to stop from finishing the reference, "My thoughts to your thoughts! GAH!"

Gah, I tried. Hey, stop laughing! There is nothing wrong with watching Star Trek!

"I knew it! I thought I was the only one!" Kowalski exclaimed, "A crew of international astronauts to boldly go where no man has gone before!"

"STOP THAT!" I shouted, as I saw Skipper trying to hold back laughter, "Okay, you got me. I watch Star Trek."

"I don't believe you are a real trekkie," Kowalski stated.

I gritted my beak, I know he's trying to make me break, and NO ONE questions my loyalty to Star Trek. And I mean NO ONE.

"What did you say?" I said coldly.

"You heard me. I bet you prefer that Star Wars instead," Kowalski said.

"THAT'S IT! YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT! I LOVE STAR TREK! PHASERS OVER FORCE ANY DAY!" I erupted with pure rage.

I saw the grin on Kowalski face form, and scowled.

"I hate you," I growled, in the corner of my eye, I saw someone slithering behind the Penguins. Looks like my hero's here.

I smirked, and said, "Hey Skipper, don't you love anti-climaxes?"

"Wha?" Rico grunted.

"Anti-climaxes?" Skipper said, clearly confused.

"Oh yes. When something you want to happen completely blows up in your face, like a boa constrictor striking, you know?" I said, smirking.

"No," Skipper answered.

"Okay, I just wanted to- BOO!" I said, and my hero struck.

There's only one thing I loved more than anti-climaxes, and they're called cliff-hangers.

End of Chapter Two

* * *

**Hans: I think I did it correctly. **

**You did- OW! Great. **

**Hans: I can't believe I just typed an entire chapter! **

***writes "That I pre-wrote on a notebook" on a board* **

**Hans: Don't ruin my moment on glory! **

***writes "Want pancakes?" on board* **

**Hans: Ja! I want pancakes! I love pancakes! **

***hands him pancake batter* *points to the kitchen* **


	3. Chapter 3

Finding My Roots

A _Penguins of Madagascar _Story

By:

Ocean3209

[][][][][**][][][][][**][][][][]

***covered in pancake batter* *writes "HANS, YOU IDIOT!" on board* **

**Hans: I said I was sorry! **

***writes "YOU BLEW UP OUR HABITAT!" on board* **

**Hans: I don't know how to use pancake mix! We Papageientaucher's never use mix, remember? **

***writes "JUST SHUT UP AND DO THE INTRODUCTION!" on board* **

**Hans: Oh, right. *picks up index cards* Wow, you write messy. Ahem. *starts reading out loud* Welcome back, viewers. I'm so glad that you're still here. *stops reading* HEY! **

***writes "READ IT" on board* **

**Hans: *grumbles* *goes back to reading* That last chapter that Hans typed was a little off, right? Usually, I add extra details when I type the story on the computer from my notebook. But that's kinda hard to do when you only have one wing for now. Anyways, I hope that Hans could meet the standards of my awesome writing skills. Even though he _clearly_ has no idea what he's doing. *stops reading* That's just mean! **

***writes "R&R+Enjoy!" on board* **

* * *

**Chapter Three**. Full Out Revenge Part Two 

~A couple moments before recent events~

_Hans' POV _

I grumbled as I marched over to the lemur habitat, I couldn't believe her! She was so ignorant! I kicked a can on the way over, and screamed in pain. Who knew that Red Bull cans could be so hard? I didn't!

I continued my way to the lemur habitat. I saw Clemson and Savio arguing, looks like Ocean and I aren't the only ones off track.

"AHEM!" I said loudly, catching their attention.

"Hans?!" Clemson exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"

"Ocean and I were arguing. I'm switching positions with Savio," I said seriously, and hopped next to Clemson.

I saw Savio's grin as he said, "Perfect."

He slithered to the Penguin habitat where my sister was waiting.

"So, this is gonna be a double date?" Clemson asked.

"Ja- NEIN!" I shouted, "This is a revenge mission, Clemson! Focus!"

"Okay, sheesh. I already got the rats tied up," Clemson said, and pointed to the tied up lemurs.

"That's great!" I said, smiling.

At least someone was on track. I may seem nasty during these missions, but don't be fooled. I have to forgive her though. After all, we are brother and sister. And a silly argument will never change that.

Never.

[**][][][][][**]

~Present time

_My POV_, right

Where were we? We ended at something important, but what was it... Ah yes, I remember now, thanks for reminding me. As I said, that kind of alcohol has an interesting impact on your taste buds. Because they are strong, the taste is heavy and so its intensive even though not over-flavored, yes, they're just good portion of everything. You know, something like a better whisky – not razor-sharp, not punching your senses directly. All the awesomeness is curling somewhere in the background of the sip, raises it's head from time to time and purrs at you "Well, hello there" with seductive...

Hmm? What? OH! You're interrupting me again? What is it this time? A revenge scene? Really? I'm telling you something useful! And you want me to get back to the story? That's just RUDE! What if you were in a drinking contest and the this type of alcohol was sitting right there and- No, no, PUT THE TORCH DOWN! Fine, I'll continue... Lucky butts...

It's typical, any other puffin would have settle down the time they were 18. Nice mate, beautiful children, yet I decide to continue my life of crime. Date a boa constrictor, live with my brother, maintain a heathy level of insanity. My life's messed up, really. But I'm happy, at least. Yeah... Really, really-

"JUST CONTINUE THE STORY!" the audience shouted.

"Holy- Did anyone else hear that?!" I asked, looking around.

"Hear what?" Everyone else asked.

"Nevermind..." I said, and glared at the audience, "**STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!**"

I'm serious, guys. Stop shouting at the computer screen. It's not heathy for you. Look at the sunshine, you could be outside playing with your family instead of reading this insane piece of junk, or on Twitter.

Or even stealing your puffin brother's danishes...

Oh yes, stealing your puffin brother's danishes. Yum. Even though he _obviously_ adds way too much cinnamon. I keep telling just to add just a couple pinches, and a teaspoon of vanilla. His icing skills are a little off too. Adds not enough, and he doesn't stir evenly when he makes the icing. Hey, maybe when I finish this chapter. We can all get together in Hoboken, and just talk. Sound good? Yeah, it does, doesn't it? Maybe have a few danishes while we're at it, maybe order a couple pizzas, and just mess around in the cheese fountain. Not a worry in the world...

_**OKAY, I'LL CONTINUE! SHEESH!**_

"Hello there," Came Savio's smooth voice.

"S-S-S-Savio!" Private said shakily.

"You again!" Skipper growled.

Kowalski was whimpering in fear. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Wha so 'unny?" Rico grunted.

"I-It's j-j-just that-pffthahaha! Y-you're s-so scared; it's h-hilarious!" I said, I was laughing so hard that I started stuttering, "Ahem, okay. You can eat them now, baby."

"Not when I'm here!" Came a voice that's all too familiar, "Rico! Crowbar me!"

I spun around and scowled. Standing there was Marlene, I hate her.

Rico regurgitated a crowbar and threw it to Marlene. She caught it, and _smacked _me with it.

"Ow!" I said, and she kept hitting me, "Stop- Ow! It's considered- Ow! To smack- OW! STOP HITTING ME WITH A CROWBAR! THAT'S RUDE!"

Then she whacked my beak with the crowbar.

"OW! What the heck?!" I said, and touched my beak. I winced, "I think you broke my beak!"

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry! I was just trying to help my friends!" Marlene apologized.

"Helping your- YOU KNOW WHAT?! Savio, babe, when we captured them, can you eat this one first?"

"You two are dating? That's great!" Marlence exclaimed.

"YOU SHUT UP! MY LOVE LIFE IS NOT A CONCERN RIGHT NOW!"

"I'm sorry! You two are-"

"Just. Stop," I growled, and sighed, "Babe, can you, you know, do what you do best?"

Savio hissed, and said, "I wasss getting hungry anyway."

It's sad, really. When we're on revenge mission, Hans is mean and serious, Savio shows no affection for me what-so-ever, and Clemson is a power-hungry freak. I'm the one who stays, well, me.

It's just whack.

[**][][][][][**]

"Love you too," I muttered, clearly hurt, and held my beak. It really hurt, both my beak and my self-esteem. I feel like Savio didn't want to be open with our love, and that really wounded me. I felt something in my eyes, tears. Oh crap, I'm crying in front of my enemies. I'm such a wuss.

I felt an all too familiar tail coil around me, I secretly smiled. I'm still angry, and sad.

"Baby, I love you, and you know that," Savio spoke softly to me, "Pleassse don't be melancholy. We're on revenge missssion now, I'm make it up to you when we get back home."

"Any place where you are is home to me," I said, "I'm still mad at you though."

Yep, I'm such a wuss. A melancholy, confused, emotionally unstable wuss that didn't understand herself when it came to emotions.

I felt Savio's tail uncoil, and heard him swat The Penguins and Marlene away with it. The next thing I felt was his lips softly pressed against my beak. I smiled, I just love him, he was so gentle when he wanted to be, so very protective of me, and plain kind-hearted if he wanted to be.

"Mmmmm..." I couldn't help but let that one noise escape.

Savio pulled away, boohoo. He dipped his tail in the water surrounding the Penguin habitat, and started to wipe the blood on my beak away. I winced sharply as I felt me beak being touched.

"Are you okay, my love?" Came his smooth, oily voice of comfort.

"My beak hurts, it doesn't take a genius to know it's broken," I explained, "But I'll be fine."

"Ocean, I want you to go back to Hoboken," Savio commanded, he was serious, "You are in no condition to fight."

"But Savio! I can't just go! This is a team thing!" I protested.

"Ocean, you have to. I don't want you to get hurt again," He told me, "Go back."

"No, Savio! I refuse to- HOLY SHIZ-NITS! THAT'S ONE BIG ELEPHANT!" I practically screamed when I saw the largest land animal. I never saw an elephant in my life, I didn't know they can grow that big! And all I could scream was, "MOTHER OF GOD! DON'T KILL ME!"

Truth be told, I'm _terrified_ of huge animals. Seriously, I'm just a small, helpless puffin!

"Scared of large animals, Ocean?" I heard Skipper asked, he was standing on the railing surrounding the Penguin habitat, "Meet Big Gray, the largest land animal."

I was cowering in fear, whimpering and shaking. Hey, stop laughing! I'm like, a foot tall, and an elephant is at least 10 feet tall! By now, Savio had wrapped his tail around me protectively.

"Don't worry about me," the elephant said, "You should be worrying about that snake! He's dangerous! I'm Burt, by the way."

He then took his truck and grabbed Savio, and proceeded to beat the crap out of him.

Damn elephant, do you know the forces that you are dealing with?

[**][][][][][**]

I lost all fear when I saw this. I put on a horrible, and I mean horrible, Jersey accent, and said, "Get ya trunks of mah boyfriend!" Then I flew onto the elephant's, Burt's, head. I grabbed onto his ears, and started making mouse noises.

I held on as he released Savio, thank God, and started thrashing around, trying to get the "mouse" off him. "Get it off me!" Burt screamed.

"You may be the largest land animal, but I know gorilla, and mouse! I'm Diddy Kong! Squeak! Squeak!" I said, holding onto his ears, and making realistic mouse noises.

The Penguins were watching in half humor and half horror. I grinned to myself, no one would ever deny the fact that I am a very entertaining person. Some might same delusional, heck, even insane.

I then steered "Big Gray" into a wall, knocking him out cold. I jumped off and dusted my wings off, I don't want any elephant DNA on my wings when the cops catch me, right?

"I just took out an elephant!" I said, and starting using my fake Jersey accent, "Now I'm gonna make some dough, and paint the town red! Ya hear?"

Speaking of red, the blood stopped dripping. Pfft, that's what she said! Yea, the criminally insane spaz is secretly a pervert. Hoo hum.

"Is that all you got?" I taunted, "I can take on anything! A lion, a tiger, anything!"

"How about an alligator?" Skipper said, and an alligator came up to me.

"HOLY SHIZ-NITS!" I screamed, "IT'S A FUCKING ALLIGATOR! THIS IS IT! I'M FINALLY IN HELL! SATAN HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL!"

I tend to overreact and dramatize stuff. It's just me.

"Am I really that scary?" the alligator asked.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! YOU'RE AN ALLIGATOR!" I screamed again.

"You should watch your language, missy," the alligator told me, "And I'm here to... fight a snake?"

Kowalski nodded, and said, "Indeed Roger, you are here to fight a snake."

I was cowering in fear, again. "DON'T EAT ME! I ONLY TASTE GOOD WITH RANCH!" I screamed again.

Interesting fact, I scream random things when I'm scared shitless. I do random things as well.

"Becaussse ssshe'sss ssso hot," Savio said smoothly, making me blush in the process. And Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico gag.

"Oh. So you guys are dating?" the alligator, Roger, said.

The return of the horrible Jersey accent came as I said, "What's it to ya?"

"That's wonderful! I think young love-" Roger exclaimed and I cut him off.

"I'm 18 years old," I stated blandly, "And about to _**FALCON PUNCH YOUR FACE**_!"

Okay, maybe I play too much video games. I jumped on the alligator, and tried to use my beak to attack.

"OH GOD! THAT HURT!" I shouted, as I remembered that my beak was broken. Now, I'm sure of it. I fell to the ground clutching my beak, I'm afraid that it might fall off or something! What? It could happen! And I'll be called Ocean, the Puffin Without a Beak! I'll have my very own tv show where I have beakless adventures with my beakless buddies! Holy shit, it's the '90s all over again!

"Ow! That did hurt! Your beak is pointy!" Roger exclaimed, holding his head.

I didn't catch what he said after those sentences, my groans of pain cut them off.

"Damn, that hurt like heck in a hotdog," I groaned, "Served with ketchup and relish."

"Did she hit her head or is she always like this?" I heard Roger asked.

"Yes," I groaned. By now, Savio had slithered up to me and was currently inspecting my damage.

"Are you okay, babe?" He asked me softly.

"I have fucking idea now..." I groaned, I feel like fried chicken right now, honestly, "I feel like throwing up my guts and swallowing them in alphabetical order. You know, adrenal gland, appendix, bladder, brain... Etc."

"Would you like me to kissss it better?" Savio hissed teasingly.

"Maybe," I muttered.

Stop laughing, gagging, and/or cooing! We're just two criminally insane kids in love!

Damn, do you people realize how sexy evil love can be?

[**][][][][][**]

"Disgusting," I heard Skipper say.

"Shut. Your. Pancake. Stack," I said slow and serious like. What's with all the food sayings? Well, I am a bit hungry. Just a bit.

Now I want pancakes. Yummy pancakes. Not too hot, not too cool, just right. With a pad of butter. Hell yesss... I would _never_ use pancake mix though. Sinful. And that stuff tastes _horrible. _My family surname is Papageientaucher, and us Papageientaucher's _never_ use mix. Why use that stuff while you can make it yourself? Exactly. Hans and I come from a long line of bakers, believe it or not. The stuff we make tastes _amazing. _Like heaven slowly finding its way from the dish into your mouth, while your mouth stays open and you mutter, "Oh my God..." You probably want pancakes now too.

"Don't lisssten to that morsssel," Savio hissed, and carefully pressed his mouth against my beak. The passionate make out session soon came afterwards. I could hear Skipper gagging.

I'm pretty sure Savio could hear my stomach growling. He pulled back, and I blushed. Savio chuckled at my embarrassment, and asked, "Hungry?"

"Only for your love," I said, giggling.

"Then let me sssatisssfy you," He hissed teasingly.

Kowalski cleared his throat loudly, reminding us that we aren't alone.

"I think they make a cute couple," Marlene said.

"Hoboken doesn't know the meaning of 'cute'," Skipper said.

"Uh huh," Rico grunted, and gagged.

"But Hoboken does know the meaning of teamwork," I said, and hopped on Savio's head, "Ready baby?"

"Alwaysss," Savio hissed, and lung towards the Penguins and Marlene.

I wrapped one wing around his neck, and the other around my dagger. What happened next was pretty simple. I took out the target with my dagger so Savio could, ahem, ahem, swallowed then. Kowalski escaped, somehow.

"You know, baby, we make a pretty bad ass team," I said, and hugged him.

"I couldn't agree more," Savio said.

The alligator was still there. Savio and I both looked in his direction. "Boo," We said, and the yellow-bellied alligator ran into a pole, knocking himself out in the process.

"Coward!" I shouted.

"I ain't a coward!" I heard a thick Australian voice shout. And I mean thick, I can barely understand it.

Savio turned around and standing there was a Harpy Eagle. You people can already guess what i did next.

"HOLY SNIZ-NITS! PREDATOR! PREDATOR! PREDATOR!" I shouted, "PLEASE DON'T EAT ME!"

"I'm not gonna eat ya! Even though you do look delicious," the Eagle said, "Name's Jimmy! And I ain't scared of anything!"

"How about a snake?" I asked.

"I cut them up and eat them for breakfast!" Jimmy shouted. I saw that Jimmy was only looking at Savio's head, and I motioned to the rest of his body. Jimmy screamed, "HOLY AUSTRALIAN OUTBACK! THAT'S ONE BIG SNAKEY!" The name Jimmy sounded familiar, like I heard a friend say it once.

"Uh, Jimmy? Are you by any chance dating a Peregrine falcon?" I asked.

"Yes! Kitka, what a lovely specimen she is!" Jimmy said, "THAT'S ONE BIG SNAKEY! THEM BOAS AREN'T SUPPOSE TA BE THIS BIG!"

"KITKA?! You're dating Kitka?!" I screamed, "I can't believe she didn't tell me!" Fact, Kitka and I are friends. Yep, we go way back. "I'M GOING KICK YOU IN THE FACE NOW!"

I lung towards my foot towards Jimmy. The bastard grabbed my foot and tired to tear my left wing off.

"!" I screamed in pain, and slashed at him with my dagger. Not enough to kill him though.

I mean, what kind of best friend would I be to kill Kitka's boyfriend? Twice in the same week too! Don't ask. But it involves mice, and spicy nachos. And a weird clown. Yea, my life's interesting.

"Phasers set to stun!" I heard Kowalski exclaimed.

I turned around only to be met with a blast of purple light.

I screamed, and the blast hit me.

All I saw was black.

_Just black. _

[**][][][][][**]

_Hans' POV_

I spun my head around when I heard the scream. There's was no doubt, that scream belonged to my sister.

"OCEAN!" I screamed when I saw her limp body on the hard concrete. I ran to her side.

"HANS! WHAT ABOUT THE MISSION?!" I heard Clemson shouted.

"FORGET THE MISSION!" I shouted, "MY SISTER'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN A STUPID MISSION!"

Some might say I'm being overprotective of my "older" sister. Why the quotations around older? Well, I'm actually older than her. I'm 22, but she seems happy when others think I'm younger than her. I'm not being overprotective. I lost her for 3 _years._ There is no way that I'm losing her again.

"_**OCEAN!**_" I cried out when I saw how damaged she was. Her beak looks like it was about to fall off, and her left wing was twisted in such a way that torn me apart from the inside.

I started sobbing. Ja, _sobbing. _I started _sobbing_ into her neck.

There was a flash, and instead of sobbing into feathers, I was sobbing into a collar of a shirt.

"Hans?" I heard my sister groan.

I opened my eyes and looked at her.

"Ocean!" I screamed, "You're a human!"

End of Chapter Three

* * *

**Hans: *panting* Done! **

***hugs Hans* Thanks, bro. *holds beak* Ow... **

**Hans: You're welcome sissy. Can we go make pancakes now? **

***holding beak* *smiles* Sure. **

**Clemson: Aw. That's so sweet. **

**Everyone else: *staring at Clemson* **

**Clemson: Uh, I mean sweet! I love pancakes! **


	4. Chapter 4

Finding My Roots

A _Penguins of Madagascar _Story

By:

Ocean3209

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***eating danishes despite broken beak* *writes "It hurts so much, but it tastes so good!" on board* **

**Hans: *eating pancakes* You shouldn't eat with a broken beak sissy. **

***writes "I'M SORRY! Your danishes are like heaven!" on board* **

**Hans: Your pancakes are delicious too! **

***writes "Aw, shucks. Now read the index cards!" on board* **

**Hans: *starts reading out loud* WOW! You people are still here! I'M SO HAPPY, I think I'm going to cry! Anyways, Chapter Three was awesome, right? But, OH NOES! Ocean's HUMAN! DUH DUH DUH! Anyways, R&R+Enjoy! **

* * *

**Chapter Four**. I'M A HUMAN?! 

_My POV_

"**_HOLY CRAP! HOLY CRAP! HOLY CRAP! HOLY CRAP!_**" I screamed as I look at myself.

I'm a **HUMAN**! I was wearing a baggy white shirt, and black skinny jeans. I'm pretty sure that I still had my dark stormy cloud gray eyes, and my 18 years of life. I hope.

Everyone was surprised, except Kowalski. Savio was so shocked, that he lost his lunch. Out came Skipper, Rico, Private, and Marlene, they all had confused expressions on their faces, and disgusted ones.

"My invention works!" Kowalski exclaimed, throwing his flippers in the air, and the invention too.

"I'M A HUMAN! A _**FUCKING**_ HUMAN!" I continued the panic attack, it's not everyday when you get humanized, "**I'M A HUMAN! OH GOD, WHY ME?! I'M FINALLY IN HELL! THIS IS _IT!_ I'M A HUMAN! CHEESE PICKLES AND NACHO DUCKS, I AM A HUMAN! A FUCKING RETARDED HUMAN! OH GOD, OH _GOD! I AM A__ HUMAN!_**"

"_OCEAN!_" Hans shouted, "**CALM DOWN!**"

I curled up in a little ball, and started freaking out.

"I'm a human... I'm a human..." I kept repeating to myself. I felt a small wing on my hand, I looked down and saw Hans.

"_**Ozean **_**_Papageientaucher!_**" Hans shouted, jumping into my lap, and holding my shoulders and shaking them, "YOU HAVE TO CALM DOWN!"

Wha-oh, he's using my full name, he's serious this time.

"_**HOW CAN I CALM DOWN?! **_**I HAVE _FINGERS!_**" I practically screamed.

Hans sighed, and shouted, "ABORT! ABORT THE MISSION! CODE D-98!"

Clemson elbowed Rico in the stomach, making him regurgitate a smoke bomb.

We were long gone way before the smoke cleared.

[**][][][][][**]

_Kowalski's POV_

"Oh no..." I muttered as I heard the ray made contact with the hard concrete.

I heard the blast, and froze.

The smoke cleared, and I gazed at my surroundings. The Hobokeners were gone, of course. Everyone was normal. That meant-

"Kowalski!" Private cried, "_Y-You're human!_"

I thought things couldn't get any worse, then the ray started smoking.

Spoke too soon.

[**][][][][][**]

_My POV_

We were all in one of those delivering trunk headed for Hoboken. The problem, Hans was driving. I'm too depressed to joke about that.

I was in the back, holding my knees and whimpering. I started to cry silently.

"Hey, Ocean. You okay, dude?" I heard Clemson asked.

I looked at him, fresh tears in my puffy eyes. I quickly wiped them away.

"Why do you care if I'm okay or not?" I croaked, my voice hoarse and broken.

"Don't ask me if I care or not! Believe it or not, you are my friend, and friends care about each other!" Clemson suddenly shouted.

I flinched slightly, and sniffled.

"I'd hug you if I could," I muttered putting my face in my knees, "... Thanks, Clemson."

In the corner of my eye, I saw Savio slither up to us. Clemson waved him away, and said, "I got this."

Savio nodded, and went to the other side of the truck.

"Ocean, what's wrong?" Clemson asked, placing a paw on my hand.

"What's wrong?" I repeated harshly, and laughed sickly, "What's WRONG?! I'm scared! Okay? Do you feel better knowing?!"

I started going back to sobbing, but I was laughing hysterically at the same time.

"We're all insane!" I laughed, tears running down my face, "Insanity runs in our hearts! We're all insane animals who think they're actually cared by the world! WE'RE ALL INSANE!"

"Uh, Ocean, are you-" Clemson stuttered, but I cut him off by laughing hysterically.

"NO I'M NOT FINE! I'm insane, remember? Who's going to save you when you're the bad guy, huh Clemson? Tell me, does anyone care about the bad guy? At all?! NO!" I snapped, "Because we're insane! That's it! Who will oppose you in the end when you're the bad guy? I'll tell you, Clemson! EVERYONE! BECAUSE WE'RE INSANE!"

I picked up my dagger that was resting beside me.

"INSANITY HAS NO REASON TO LIVE! NO ONE CARES!" I shouted, and I slashed at my wrist. I felt blood, but I didn't slit the vein yet. "Then so be it."

Clemson reacted and grabbed my wrists before I could do anything else.

"STOP IT, OCEAN!" He snapped at me.

I laughed hysterically, my puffy red eyes losing all sanity in them, the tears staining my cheeks.

"I CAN'T! I'M INSANE!" I shouted, and grabbed my dagger. It didn't take a genius to know that I was going to kill myself. At this point, I didn't care about anything anymore. All I wanted to do is die. I'm better off in Hell anyways. I screamed, "NO ONE WILL CARE IF THE BAD GUY DIES OR NOT!"

"I've ssseen enough!" Savio snapped, and he coiled around me. He wasn't allowing me to kill myself, but I was going down without a fight.

"LET ME GO, SAVIO!" I screamed, "YOU DON'T CARE! NO ONE EVER CARES! THEY DON'T CARE FOR THE INSANE!"

"You're wrong, Ocean," Savio said, holding me in place.

"We care," Clemson said, and frowned at how the sentence sounded.

I just broke out in tears, as Savio held me there.

"I'm scared," I whimpered, "I'm scared to death and I don't know what to do."

"I know," Savio said softly, rubbing my back with his tail, "I'm worried about you, you know. I love you."

"N-no. This is the first time in my life, Savio. The first time that I didn't know what to do," I admitted, "I usually have one of my plans of some sort. But this time, this time's different. I'm the bad guy this time, and no one cares about the bad guy."

I just continued sobbing into my knees as Savio held me there.

What else could I do? Who will save you when you're the bad guy? Who will be there to oppose you when you're the bad guy? Who will be your hero when all hope is lost? Who will oppose you in the end? All these questions roam my head as I sobbed.

Both Savio and I know that no one cares about you when you're the bad guy. They expect you to be fine, because you're the bad guy. And bad guys weren't suppose to have feelings. They're wrong, they all are.

When your world starts falling apart, there's nothing you can do about. All you can do is sit there, and cry.

Because you're the bad guy. And no one cares about the bad guy.

_No one._

[**][][][][][**]

~Somewhere

_Normal POV_

"THIS IS INSANE!"

"YOU'RE THE PROTAGONIST!"

"WE CARE ABOUT YOU, OCEAN!"

"DON'T KILL YOURSELF! WE LOVE YOU!"

"WHO WILL FINISH THE STORY?!"

"... I knew we should have gotten crowd control."

"No kidding."

[**][][][][][**]

~Back in the truck

_Savio's POV_

I couldn't help but feel as if she was right. Who am I fooling? Of course she's right. Everyone expects the villain to just shrug it off, and come back for a revenge. Ocean wasn't like that. Unlike the others, including myself, Ocean didn't understand her emotions. She didn't have control over what she says, or does, because she couldn't understand.

All she had was Hans, Clemson, and myself. She wants us to be there for her. To be the shining light in a world surrounded by darkness. The hero in her wildest dreams. To rescue her life in her darkest hour, to save her life. She expects all three of us to be there, but mostly me.

"Savio," I heard the love of my life whimper my name.

"Yes dear?" I replied, concern reflecting in my voice.

She looked at me with her eyes. Her eyes. She still had those beautiful gray eyes that represents storm clouds in the winter. Those eyes that form together like hurricanes. The tears falling from her beautiful eyes torn me apart and devoured me from the inside. I wiped the liquid evil away from her eyes using my tail. What can I say? I'm a victim of love.

"I don't feel safe, Savio," She whimpered, and I held her closer.

"I'm here for you," I whispered, then brought my lips to hers.

Most of you will probably be thinking that this is act is revolting, others would think that it is sweet, I don't _care_ what anyone thinks. I only cared about the love of my life.

What's that? Bad guys don't know how to love you say? Hilarious. Underdogs love, don't they? And everyone loves the underdog, right? That's what I thought.

Surprisingly, she pulled away from me.

"This feels wrong, Savio," She said.

Now I know what you're thinking. Probably along the lines of, "Oh no! But they love each other! They're PERFECT together," "Thank GOD. The last thing I want to see is another PDA act from these two," "Whaaaa? But she's the protagonist! And he's the significant other! They _MUST_ be together! It's the rules!" Am I close?

"But it feels so right," I hissed.

"No, Savio. It was okay when both of us were animals," She told me, "it's not... Legal."

Oh yes. A love between a boa constrictor sadist and a puffin assassin, when did things suddenly become legal?

Now you're thinking that she has no power over me, right? Because I'm the powerful boa constrictor, an she's the unstable human being, right? Wrong. I would _never_ hurt her. Think I've grown soft, hmm? I told you, I'm a victim of love.

"We're in love, dear," I hissed. I felt her shiver when my accent reached her ears, and tug at the strings of her heart. I whispered, "It's always wrong."

"Damn..." She cursed, "You're so manipulative... And sexy."

I grinned, didn't I tell you I would find a way?

She looked at me with again with those beautiful eyes. She had fresh tears in them, of course.

Do you know that feeling when everyone and everything you know suddenly turns against you? And your whole world starts falling apart? I get that feeling every time the liquid evil escaped her eyes.

"I love you, Savio," She said, her lovely voice returning as she wiped away the tears, "Really."

I smiled at her, and said, "Love you too."

[**][][][][][**]

_Kowalski's POV_

I can't believe it, I'm a _human. _And my invention broke.

"**_Kowalski!_**" Skipper barked.

'Prepare for the worse," I thought.

"What happened?" He asked.

"Sir, the Hobokeners technically surrendered," I stuttered out.

"I can see that!" Skipper shouted, "Why are you _human?!_"

"Just a few malfunctions in the Humanizer Ray, sir," I lied.

The ray was smoking for Einstein's sake!

"A _few _malfunctions, Kowalski?!" Skipper barked, "The ray's on fire!"

I looked at the Humanizer Ray, and, indeed, it was on fire.

"That means I'm stuck as a human..." I muttered, running my fingers through my new black hair.

"That's terrible!" Private cried.

Rico grunted a few incoherent words, flailing his flippers in the air.

"Oh, come on guys. It can't be that bad," Marlene said, trying to lighten the mood.

"He's _human, _Marlene!" Skipper shouted.

"The man's a friggin' genius..." Jimmy said, "He'll figure it out."

"It'll take months, but I'll repair the invention in due time," I said, unsure, "What will I do until then?"

"You could get a job!" Private chirped.

"Or an apartment," Jimmy recommended, "It's not like you could live in the zoo."

"Maybe I should enjoy my time as a human..." I muttered, "Think of the possibilities..."

[**][][][][][**]

I looked at myself in the mirror Rico regurgitated.

"Oh, Kowalski, what have you done?" I sighed to myself.

I had messy black hair, and navy blue eyes. I'm about 6 feet tall. I'm still 23 years old, of course. I'm wearing a white shirt and black jeans. I can pass as a regular human.

_Humanized yourself. _

I nearly jumped as I heard the voice.

"Who's there? Show yourself!" I shouted, turning around.

_Calm down, Kowalski. I'm the chip you installed. _

"Oh," I said, and facepalmed.

We all have our blonde moments, right?

_Yeah, I'm going to stay in your head until... _

The voice seems to trail off.

"Until what?" I asked.

_Classified. _

"Being a Skipper now, are we?"

_Very funny. You can just call me Chip. _

[**][][][][][**]

_My POV_

We had finally arrived back at the Hoboken Zoo, I was hiding in the gift shop, thinking of what I should do next.

"Okay, Ocean. Think," I said to myself, "Okay, you're talking to yourself. Great start, Ocean."

Oh geez, I'm talking to myself. And I'm being _sarcastic _with _myself. _

"Yes! First I'll get a job, so I could buy clothes!" I exclaimed, "I'll work here! Then I'll get an apartment! Oh, Ocean! You're a genius! A creepy genius that talks to herself... Oh geez, I need to get out more often."

_**No kidding.** _

"HOLY- Who was that?!" I shouted, looking around.

_**Just a random voice in your head. Don't worry. It's normal for crazy people.** _

"Crazy- I'm not crazy!" I snapped.

_**You're talking to a voice in your head, genius.** _

"SHUT UP!"

_**I can't. I'm a voice in your mind. I do not have any mouth, therefore I cannot shut up.** _

"Ignore it, Ocean. It's just your mind," I said, placing a hand on my head, "Okay, I'll sleep in here. Then I'll apply for a job here tomorrow morning! They need more workers, I know because I heard them talk. Now you're just talking to the audience, Ocean."

_**Yep. You know they won't respond, right?** _

"What can I call you?"

_**Robin, it's a simple name.** _

"Okay, _Robin_," I said, "How long are you going to stay in my head?"

_**Until chapter ten.** _

"That's six chapters away!"

_**Exactly. Maybe I'll go, maybe I'll stay. You don't know.** _

"It's my story!"

_**Stop breaking the fourth wall and just end the chapter.** _

"Fine!" I snapped, "You don't have to be so demanding though."

_**Yes I do. It's in my character sketch.** _

"Oh yeah..."

_You should see how you look like. To be honest, you're kinda hot... _

"Wait, what? You're genderless, right?"

**_I don't know. I'm just a voice inside your head. _**

"So, how do I look like?"

_**Look inside a mirror, genius. Then you'll find out.** _

"If I'm going to be stuck with you, you better be nice!"

**_Can't. I'm kinda like you. But cooler._**

"Whatever," I said, and picked up a mirror shaped like a lemur head.

I looked inside the mirror, and my eyes widen. I nearly dropped the mirror.

"HOLY SHIZ-NITS!"

_**Told ya you look hot.** _

"NO I DON'T! LOOK AT MY HAIR!"

I had straight dark brown hair with insane highlights. The color ranges from crimson red, silver, midnight purple, light brown, and _ocean _blue. Pssh, I had to do that, yes.

_**Not that bad. It comes from that colorful beak of yours you had when you were a puffin.** _

"MY SKIN'S SO PALE! AM I ALBINO?!"

_**It's not that pale, and you're not albino. It's... vampire pale.** _

"HOW'S THAT SUPPOSE TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?!"

_**Hey, you still have those unique gray eyes, right? Storm clouds in the winter, hurricane pattern.** _

"LOOK AT ME! I'M SO TALL AND SCRAWNY!"

_**I say lanky and slender.** _

"Thanks Robin. For boasting my self-esteem... BUT LOOK HOW TALL I AM! IS THAT RIGHT?! I'M SO LANKY! I PROBABLY WEIGHT LIKE 120 POUNDS!"

_**Hey, you're 5'11 1/2. And you're 125 pounds.** _

"JESUS! 125 POUNDS?! IS THAT NORMAL?! AND 5'11 1/2?! I'M A FUCKING _GIANT!_"

_**Stop shouting, and end the chapter already.** _

"I WILL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO BOSSY!"

_**It's what I'm paid to do.** _

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE A VOICE!"

_**Just end the chapter already!** _

"OKAY! Jesus..."

End of Chapter Four

* * *

**Hans: That was funny. **

***nods* **

**Hans: I say review, right? **

***nods impatiently* **

**Hans: Okay... REVIEW! My sister worked very hard. **

***nods* **


	5. Chapter 5

Finding My Roots

A _Penguins of Madagascar _Story

By:

Ocean3209

[][][][][**][][][][][**][][][][]

***smiling* *writes "I'm so happy..." on board* **

**Hans: Why? **

***writes "We got 100+ visitors!" on board* **

**Hans: That's great! **

***writes "And..." on board* *takes off bandages on beak* I could talk again! **

**Hans: *high-wings me* **

* * *

**Chapter Five**. As a Human 

_BOOM! _

I jumped up in fright, and hit my head against a barrel. I was leaning against a souvenir barrel in the gift shop, sleeping.

"DAMN! THAT HURT!" I cursed, and held my head.

**_HEY! DON'T HIT YOUR HEAD! IT'S HURTS ME EVEN MORE! _**

"Sorry Robin!" I shouted, still holding my head.

_BOOM! _

I jumped up and squealed in fright.

"Th-Th-Thunderstorm!" I screamed, and curled up into a ball.

**_Ocean! Focus! It's just a silly- _**

_BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! _

**_HOLY SHIZ-NITS! HOLD ME! _**

"Only if you hold me!" I screamed as the storm rages on outside.

**_Hold on. Let me just do a little something... _**

I heard a few clicks and clanks, and then a human girl appeared next time me. I noticed that she was slightly floating in the air, and had a gold mist around her. She had straight dark brown hair tied in a pony tail. She had a Rex Sox baseball cap on. She was the same height as me, 5'11. Her black-frame glasses rested in front of her dark stormy gray eyes. That forms like hurricanes...

"HOLY-" I shouted at the tops of my lungs.

The girl covered my mouth with her hand.

"_**Shh! It's me!** **Robin!**_" she shouted at me.

When I was calm again, Robin took her hand away.

"Robin? But you're a voice!" I shouted, clutching my heart like I just seen a ghost, "And you look like me! Sort of!"

"_**Correction, I WAS a voice,**_" Robin said, annoyed.

_BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!_

We both jumped up and squealed. After that, we were holding each other as if our lives depended on it.

"Why do you look like that?" I asked.

"_**Because, I'm the you who you wanted to hide from the world**_," Robin replied, "**_The easily annoyed, sarcastic, cunning-_**"

"So your basically my Antisocial Personality Disorder side?"

Robin slapped me, and screamed, "_**I WAS GETTING TO THAT! And I'm also your humanized conscience.**_"

I held the cheek that she slapped. Wait a minute... _SHE_.

I screamed, "HEY! YOU LIED TO ME! YOU SAID YOU WERE GENDERLESS!"

_BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!_

We both screamed, ad held each other.

"... Wanna go to the Boa Constrictor habitat?" I asked, still holding Robin.

"_**Definitely.**_"

[**][][][][][**]

Using the return of my amazing ninja skills to my advantage, I snuck out of the gift shop, remaining hidden from the cameras. Robin had got back into my head, thank God, and finally shut up.

**_Stop being so mean to me!_**

"Be quiet! I need to focus!" I snapped at the voice, who I knew was Robin.

**_Okay, geez. Stop shouting, you'll look crazy. Er._**

I rolled my eyes, and snuck into the Reptile House. I sighed when I did, I manage to keep out of the rain, somehow. So I was dry.

_**Dry, my ass. You got half of your body wet!**_

Okay, I wasn't _traditionally_ dry.

_**Traditionally dry? Are you fucking kidding me?! **_

"Shut up, Robin," I whispered harshly, "It's my story! I'm the damn narrator!"

_**Okay, geez. Spaz. **_

With my ninja skills, I crept down the hallways leading to the boa constrictor habitat. Robin had appeared next to me again. Just great.

"_**I can hear you think, you know?**_" Robin whispered, walking behind me casually.

"You're going to get caught in the cameras!" I whispered harshly, then facepalmed.

"**_Only you can see me, genius,_**" Robin replied, annoyed.

I ignored her and she went back into my head. I was just right around the corner to the boa constrictor habitat.

_BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!_

I jumped up, and smacked my head against the wall. I was now sitting on the floor.

"Damn..." I cursed, putting a hand on my head, "That hurt! Are you okay Robin?"

No response. Wha-oh, I think I just killed my conscience. HELL YES!

**_I'm still here, you know. Think of Hans' danishes!_**

"Why would I do that?" I asked, thinking of Papageientaucher pancakes. Now I'm thinking of that special kind of alcohol.

**_WHOA THERE! You don't want a drunk voice giving you advice! Hey, is this the special kind? HOLY SHIZ-NITS! It tastes amazing! It's like all the awesomeness-_**

"Save the speech, Robin. We already heard it in chapter three."

That seemed to shut her up, for now. I continued my way to the boa constrictor habitat.

**_I'm soooo not druuunk..._**

Oh shit. Now I have a drunk Robin in my head. OH GOD, my head hurts now. What the fuck is she doing in there? I had crashing sounds in my head, and winced sharply. I clutched my head in pain.

"What the fuck are you doing in my head?" I whispered.

_**Nothing...**_

I rolled my eyes and continued my way. I was now standing in front of the boa constrictor habitat, looking in. Savio was sighing in his sleep, coiled around himself.

"Aww..." I said, looking at my sleeping love.

He's so cute. Even more now that he's sleeping. I went over to the control pad, and unlocked the boa constrictor habitat. I slowly stepped in, and looked at my boyfriend again.

_**Hey Ocean, I'm gonna leave for a while. Okay? **_

"Whatever."

I smiled when Robin left, and gently shook Savio.

"Hey Savio, baby, wake up," I whispered.

_BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!_

I squealed in fright, and jumped up.

"Babe?" I heard Savio groan sleepily, "What are you doing here?"

_BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!_

I squealed again, and clutched Savio.

"Thunderstorm!" I squealed.

I heard Savio sigh, and groaned sleepily. I know he hates being woken up. He wrapped his tail around me, and turned his head around, facing the other way.

_BOOM!_

I screamed again, and started shaking. What are you looking at? That was a loud one! And I hate thunderstorms, they remind me of a certain Greek God who's out to get me.

Savio turned to me, and said, "Babe, good night."

He then coiled around me, so I was leaning against him from the inside of the circle. Savio then kiss the top of my head, then went back to sleep.

"...Good night," I mumbled, resting my head on him.

_BOOM!_

I didn't jump that time.

[**][][][][][**]

_Kowalski's POV_

"I hate my life!" I exclaimed, sitting down and leaning against a wall.

It was _pouring _heavily, and I had no shelter. Drenched in rain water, I sighed to myself.

_Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. Bad for the brain. _

"You're not the one fighting the raging weather," I muttered.

_Remember the quote? Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain? _

"Yes, Vivian Greene," I said, "I'll catch pneumonia if I start dancing in the rain, Chip."

_Right. But remember what Skipper said? Actions speak louder than words. _

"So you want me to start dancing in the rain?"

_No, I want you to find shelter. I thought you were the smart one. _

"I am!"

_Okay, smart one. Find shelter. _

"Alice locked the gift shop, that's the only form of shelter in the zoo."

_Thought you were the options guy too. Is that your only option? _

"Nonsense!"

_Good! Now go find that shelter! I'll be leaving for a while, okay? _

"Alright! Wait, what?"

No answer.

"Chip? Chip? Where did you go?"

Still nothing. He's long gone now.

"Chip?! Chip?! CHIP! COME BACK! I NEED YOU!"

[**][][][][][**]

_Normal POV_

"**_Hey Chip,_**" Robin greeted the man.

He had messy black hair, and navy blue eyes. He wore black-frame glasses, similar to Robin's, and stood at a towering 6 feet. He was holding a clipboard, and slightly floating in the air. And like Robin, he had a gold mist around him.

"_Robin,_" Chip acknowledged, looking at the clipboard.

"_**You are no fun!**_"

"_This is serious matter, Robin! We have to deal with the task!_"

"_**We have to deal with the task," Robin mocked, "Come on, Chippy! Have a little fun~!**_"

"_This is serious, Robin! The two have been humanized! And it's our job to help them through this dilemma!_"

"_**Kill joy.**_"

"_I'm not a kill joy. I'm being serious._"

"_**I'm being serious, too**!_"

"_We have to focus on the-_" Chip dropped the clipboard when Robin kissed his cheek.

Robin pulled away, and said, "_**I'm being serious**** too.**_"

Chip started stuttering, completely dazed at what just happened.

Robin giggled, and winked before disappearing into thin air.

Chip slapped himself, and picked up the clipboard.

"_Curse these human hormones,_" Chip muttered to himself.

He started banging his head against a wall in pure confusion.

He wondered what Kowalski would say.

[**][][][][][**]

Robin was sitting outside of the Reptile House, letting the rain fall onto her as she thought about what she just did.

"**_Holy crap..._**" Robin muttered to herself, "**_I just kissed Kowalski's humanized__ conscience!_**"

Robin knew Ocean already hated her, now she wonder what she'll say now when she tells her the news.

"_**And I liked it! Oh** **shit!**_" Robin screamed, and punched the wall in pure confusion.

She sat back down, and crossed her arms.

"**_Maybe it's because Ocean kinda likes Kowalski, and vice_ _versa,_**" She concluded, and then laughed, "_**Nah, you're being ridiculous! They fucking hate each**** other.**_"

Robin continued laughing, then her eyes lite up in realization.

"**_CONSCIENCE! CONSCIENCE! She wants to like him! To be friends! Holy shiz-nits! Holy shiz-nits!_**"

Robin's eyes scan the wet concrete and she found Ocean's infamous jagged dagger. She picked it up, and left it near the Puffin Habitat. Hans would find it.

"**_Maybe even best friends... Or__ more,_**" Robin said out loud, "**_N_****_ow I know that's ridiculous._**"

[**][][][][][**]

_My POV_

"_**Hey, hey Ocean, Ocean! WAKE UP!**_" Robin's voice blasted through my eardrums.

"Wha?" I said sleepily, opening my eyes.

I then looked around and remembered that I was in the Boa Constrictor habitat.

"**_You have to go somewhere! The zoo's going to open!_**" Robin shouted.

"Okay, fine. God," I said, and kissed the sleeping Savio on the cheek.

I stood up, and heard a voice.

"Good luck, babe."

I smiled when I recognized it as Savio's. I walked out of the Boa Constrictor habitat, and locked it with the control pad. I turned around and waved good-bye before leaving.

"So Robin, where were you last night?" I asked, now that both of us are outside of the Reptile House.

I saw Robin disappear back into my head. Seems like she's refusing to answer, oh well.

I shrug it off, and started walking towards the Puffin Habitat.

"HANS!" I shouted, trying to get my brother's attention.

The Lair opened up, and Hans climbed out. Struggling with a backpack of some sort. He threw it at me, and I ready to catch.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's that, bro?" I asked, catching the backpack.

"Everything you might need," Hans answered simply, panting.

I unzipped the backpack and looked inside.

"You're the greatest brother in history," I exclaimed.

Inside was everything I needed to survive. My Nook, my Gameboy Advance (complete with my favorite games), headphones, my camcorder, my writing journal, my sketching pad, my (infamous) jagged dagger, a first aid pack, hand sanitizer, a Bluetooth, and a laptop. Plus a bunch of inventions that I stole from Kowalski and Blowhole, and multiple blueprints.

...That I stole from Kowalski and Blowhole.

"I know," Hans said.

"Isn't this your laptop?" I asked, holding up the laptop.

"I figured that you would need it more than I would."

I felt like crying, Hans _treasured _this laptop. He wouldn't let _anyone_ touch it.

I sniffled, and said, "You really are the greatest brother in history."

Hans smiled, and said, "The zoo will open in 25 minutes, go fix yourself up!"

Enough time to take a quick shower, sneak a peek at the zoo schedule, steal an application, and save the world!

**_Save the world? _**

Oh, great, Robin's back.

"Okay, maybe not save the world, but all the other things!" I said, waving good-bye to my awesome brother, and walking to the Break Room.

Robin appeared next to me. Dammit...

"**_You know that guy__ Kowalski?_**" She said, walking next to me.

"Penguin, yes," I said, turning into the Break Room near the corner of the zoo.

It was basically a small building with a vending machine, refrigerator, microwave, various chairs, some couches, a flat screen television, and a bathroom with a shower. The workers usually hang here during their shifts, so that's why there's not many workers working around the zoo.

"_**And you know that everyone has a conscience,** **right?**_" Robin continued slowly, almost hesitantly.

"Oh my God, what the fuck did you do?" I barked, demanding an answer.

"_**I kissed his conscience...**_"

I started having a violent coughing attack.

"You what?" I barked, my voice hoarse.

"**_Just on the cheek! Face cheek, pervert. _**_**I'm your conscience. Kowalski has a conscience. I kissed him.**_"

"You're my conscience! Why would you-" I stopped, wearing a cheeky grin, "I get it now..."

"**_Just take your stupid shower_ _already._**"

I shrugged and my eyes widen. I shouted, "But you're MY conscience! Oh shit!"

[**][][][][][**]

_Kowalski's POV_

After Chip left me last night, I've found shelter. Under a huge leaf...

_Hey Kowalski... _

"Finally you're back! Where have you been?" I exclaimed.

_Somewhere. Someplace. Talking Ocean's conscience... _

"I know that, but- Wait, what?"

_Yea... Since she's humanized. Her conscience roams free, and she, sort of, maybe kissed me... _

"Please tell me you didn't allow her to!"

_A conscience never lies. _

"Darn it!" I shouted, holding my head, "Why would you let her kiss you?! Why would she kiss you?!"

A male in his early 20s appeared next to me, he was at least 6 feet tall, the same height as me. He had messy black hair, and navy blue eyes. Black-frame glasses rested on his nose. He had a golden mist out line surrounding him, and he slightly floated in the air.

"Chip?"

"_Yeah..._"

"You still haven't answered my questions!"

"_I'm pretty sure that her conscience likes me or something. Mostly as a friend, because Ocean has a boyfriend,_" Chip said.

We both shuddered at the thought of Hoboken's most feared boa constrictor.

"Why is that your conclusion?"

"_It was a friendly peck on the cheek._"

"Oh no," I muttered.

That's how most of my relationships started...

[**][][][][][**]

_My POV_

"**_So... How was your__ shower?_**" Robin asked me, sitting on a couch and reading a comic.

"Human anatomy is strange," I said, frowning.

Robin laughed, and threw the comic at me.

"Hey!" I shouted, catching the comic, "This, right here, is limited edition of the Kings series! It's the editor's copy! Only 2 in the world!"

"_**Calm down!**_" Robin said, "_**Sissy!**_"

"Shut up! This is special to me!"

"**_Whatever,_**" Robin said, shrugging.

"You..." I said, "Have no respect for the art of comic collecting! Do you know how many trades I had to made to get this?!"

"**_Comic__ geek,_**" Robin mocked, sneering.

"I prefer the term collector!" I shouted, and looked at the comic.

My mouth fell open, I looked like I just seen a ghost.

"Y-You..." I said breathlessly, pointing a finger at Robin.

"**_What did I do now?!_**" Robin asked, putting her hand over her heart.

"**YOU BENT IT! YOU BENT THE COMIC!**" I shouted, shoving the comic in her face, "**LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE! LOOK! LOOK AT IT!**"

Robin rolled her eyes, and took the comic. She then slapped me with it.

"**_Calm__ down!_**" She shouted, slapping me with the comic again, "**_Spaz..._**"

"FINE!" I shouted, taking the comic back, and inspecting it, "... You bent it... **AGAIN!**"

"**_Whatever, spazy,_**" Robin scoffed, opening a Pepsi can, and sipping it, "**_Don't you have an application to steal?_**"

"**I'M NOT A SPAZ!**" I screamed, and sighed, "And, yes, I _do _have an application to steal."

"**_Go then idiot._**"

"Okay, first, you are only my conscience. You can't tell me what to do, only recommend. Second, I am not an idiot, I actually have a high IQ level."

"_**I wouldn't say that 12 is a high IQ level.**_"

"Now you're just being mean. Correction: 123."

"**_Nonsense. I was always mean._**"

I rolled my eyes, and picked up the backpack Hans gave me.

"C'mon," I said.

"**_Why should I?_**" Robin scoffed, throwing away her empty Pepsi can.

"I always wanted my conscience to be my partner in crime."

[**][][][][][**]

"That was just too easy," I said, finishing the last touches on the application.

I had broken in, though I could hardly call it a break-in, the Main Office and stole an application. Simple as 1, 2, 3!

**_You are too cocky for your own good. _**

Robin had got back into my head, thank God.

I flashed a wicked grin, and said, "Why, thank you."

**_Wipe that grin off your face. Today's Friday, right? _**

"Yep."

**_That means Mike's working the second shift today. _**

"Great. He's coming in about, 2 minutes. Better go!"

I then looked for a place to stand and act like a regular zoo visitor.

Like a very normal person, taste the sarcasm, taste it, I accidentally tripped over my foot, and faceplanted with the hard concrete. I could hear a certain walrus snickering, looks like someone spilled.

"Hey, are you okay?" I heard a voice ask.

I looked up and saw a male in his 20s with black hair and green eyes.

**_Hey, lookie, lookie, it's Mike! _**

"Fine," I said, getting up, and dusting myself off, "Do you know where I could turn in a job application?"

"I'll just take it," Mike replied, "What's your name?"

"It's Ocean," I said, giving Mike the application.

Mike didn't even look at it and threw it over his shoulder.

"Congratulations Ocean," Mike said, flashing his goofy grin, "You got the job!"

**_Wait, what? But he didn't even look at it! _**

I flashed my wicked grin, and said, "Awesome. A little birdie told me how people get jobs here. Easy as one, two, three! I don't have to wear a stupid uniform, right?"

Literally. That little birdie was Hans.

"Nope," Mike said, "Just a name tag. Since you're a newbie, you should start taking care of the easy animals. I recommend the chimpanzee or the puffins."

My wicked grin returned as I said, "I'd like to take care of the boa constrictor."

I had to hold in laughter as Mike eyes widen and his mouth dropped.

"You sure?" Mike asked, staring at me as if I just grown another head, "The boa here isn't friendly. He _despises _humans."

"Yeah, I'm sure," I said simply, "I've seen this boa constrictor before. And I really like snakes. _Especially_ this one."

_**Ocean, if I had a hand and a face. I would have broken my face by now. By facepalming to your personality.**_

"He's dangerous. Nothing but trouble."

**_That's what daddy said about him... _**

I smirked and said, "That's alright. I've had experience."

"In handling with dangerous animals?"

"Nope," I said innocently, then the infamous wicked grin formed on my face, "In bad boys."

Robin started laughing as I held in mine when Mike looked at me in pure confusion.

End of Chapter Five

* * *

**Wasn't that chapter fun? **

**Hans: I thought it was! **

**Where are the others anyways? **

**Hans: Clemson is having a prank war with Rhonda, and Savio is probably getting something for you. *covers beak* Forget what I said. **

***looks at Hans suspiciously* Okay then. REVIEW! Please, review. Or I'm never updating again! *looks serious* *laughs* Just review. **


	6. Chapter 6

Finding My Roots

A _Penguins of Madagascar _Story

By:

Ocean3209

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**I have no author's note at the moment. Anyways, you still...**

**Hans: Have to...**

**Me&Hans: R&R+ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter Six**. Dealing With Human Life

"So this is the girl who wanted to take care of the boa of her first day of work?" a girl in her late teens with shiny black hair and green eyes asked.

"Yep Pauline, this is her," Mike said.

"Is she insane or something?" a male in his mid twenties with dark brown hair and black eyes asked.

"No Norman, she's not taking any special medication," Mike said, "That's what I think."

We were all standing outside the Boa Constrictor habitat inside of the Reptile House, the three were standing behind me, near the control pad, talking about me. What nice people... We _do_ live in Hoboken, New Jersey.

I was standing in front of the boa constrictor habitat, right in front.

"When are you going to open the habitat so I could walk in?" I asked simply, looking oh-so very innocent.

Savio was watching as intensely, looking as sly as ever.

"If you say so, crazy," Norman said, and typed in the code.

The habitat opened up, and I stepped in. When I did, Norman immediately closed the habitat, to prevent a certain boa from escaping.

"Crazy? I prefer the term, oh?" I said innocently, "Visionary."

"She's so dead," Pauline said.

"Yep," Mike agreed.

"She wanted it, so we can't be sued," Norman pointed out.

I rolled my eyes, and waved at Savio, smiling.

"Who thinks she's insane?" Norman asked.

Robin appeared next to them, and all four raised their hands. I was the only one who could see Robin, so only three hands went up.

Savio smiled warmly at me, and waved back at me with his tail.

"Did anyone else see that?" Norman asked.

"OH, my God," Pauline said, "Savio, SMILED. He SMILED!"

Robin rolled her eyes, and leaned against the wall.

"He waved back too!" Mike exclaimed, "He waved! He fucking _waved!_"

'Time to give them a real show," I thought to myself.

The wicked grin returned, and I hugged Savio.

All four of their mouths dropped, Mike, Pauline, and Norman from shock, and Robin so that she could release the laughter.

"What? Never seen someone hug a boa constrictor before?" I asked, "To be honest, I always thought Savio was cute."

Robin facepalmed, and said, "_**You're a human now, genius! You never seen Savio in your life!**_"

"What?" All three asked in confusion. I was so glad that humans were slow...

"On the news, you know. The _stake out_ because the _snake_ is _out_," I quickly lied, "It's just so cute that he swam all the way to Manhattan, just to be shipped back. Honestly, I think determination in animals is cute. And pretty cool too."

"**_Determination is cute, pfft. Who are you? Oprah _****_Winfrey?_**" Robin joked.

"It's kinda cool..." Pauline said.

"Not really," Mike said, "You know what I would like to see? Animals in the military! Commanders, spies, scientists! Wouldn't that be cool? Heroes, and villains! Fighting each other to the death!"

Savio, Robin, and I stared at him suspiciously while Norman and Pauline were laughing.

"They're animals!" Norman said, "Not Romans! Animals are stupid!"

I glared at Norman, to be honest, I always hated him.

"They aren't stupid," I said, getting defensive.

"Oh really now?" Norman sneered, then scoffed, "I bet your as stupid as the next animal."

"**_Oooh, this is getting__ good!_**" Robin exclaimed, eating out of her popcorn.

I'm wondering where you got it too.

"Animals are actually much more intelligent than you think they are," I stated, then stopped.

"Do you want to get fired?" Norman said.

"I'm so very sorry," I lied, trying not to sound sarcastic, "I just love animals."

"Then why don't you kiss them then," Pauline mocked, making kissing noises, "Kiss Savio, I dare ya!"

"Don't be so hard on her, guys," Mike said.

The wicked grin secretly made an appearance, instead of appearing on my face, it appeared on Robin's.

"**_Kiss him, you know you want to_**," Robin said.

Stupid conscience.

"_**HEY!**_"

I rolled my eyes, and looked at Savio. Then back at the other workers.

"You want me to _kiss_ him?" I said.

Pauline and Norman nodded, while Mike just shrugged.

"Kiss him! Come on, _animal lover!_ Smoochy-smooch!" Pauline cheered.

I'm about to go into ultimate lying mode. Prepare yourself.

"Why would I do that?" I asked harshly.

"You said you love animals," Norman stated.

"_Why would I love him?_" I asked harshly.

"_**JESUS! STOP THAT!**_" Robin shouted at me.

"I remembered what you said about this one! You really liked him! Maybe even loved!" Mike exclaimed.

I turned around, and said, "Do I look like a forbidden love kind of person?"

By the expression on his face, I knew that my words wounded him. What I was a bout to say next was going to kill him. I went up and hugged him, before pulling back, and slapping him. _Gently. Extremely gentle. _

"_**Oh God.. Ocean! Stop that! You love him! This may be the only love you'll ever find!**_" Robin shouted at me.

I sneered, and said, "Sorry _darling_, I like to play with my victims before I let them die."

The whole room was silent, until Savio turned around, and went into a dark corner. Norman started clapping, and whistling.

"You've proven yourself!" He cheered, "Now you have to figure out how to escape."

All three zoo keepers left in tow, while Robin started freaking out.

"**_What the FUCK is wrong with you?! He's the only boyfriend you can ever get! And he's a good one too! And you just go and..._**" Robin ranted, I stopped listening to her.

"Hey, babe," I said innocently and gently, placing a hand on Savio's neck.

"Now you're going to finish me off?" He hissed harshly.

"Savio, I love you, okay? I was just trying to make an impression."

"You sssurely made an impressssion on my heart," Savio hissed, "Leave. I'm use to hatred anyway."

"I can't, I'm locked in," I explained, and turned Savio's head so our eyes locked, "I love you, Savio. Without you, I would still be that shy puffin 4 years ago. Most importantly, I would be a sad puffin, because there would be no one to comfort me on that day. I love you, Savio."

And I hug him, not just any hug. It's sort of like a hug you would give your best friend when you haven't seen them in forever. Savio is my best friend, I would be so dead without him.

"**_Hey, I'm your best friend too! Mentally. And you would also be dead without me!_**" Robin complained.

I rolled my eyes at Robin, and kissed Savio's cheek, right where I hit him. I started thinking about life without the greatest person in the world. In my world.

I started crying when I thought about losing Savio, and said, "Savio, please, I'm sorry. Just, don't leave me. I had many people walk out on me in my life and I don't want you to be one of them. You're the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I love you, Savio."

Robin frowned and said, "**_I don't like cheese on my pizza__._**"

Savio looked at me and said, "If I could cry, I would. I love you, Ocean. But you have to stop toying with my emotions, you've done that since day one, and I'm as confused as ever."

"_**KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS****!**_" Robin chanted, throwing popcorn in the air, "**_THE AUDIENCE WANTS A KISS__!_**"

_**Tell them they could kiss my ASS.**_

I looked around, and said, "Did you hear that?"

"Hear, what?" Savio asked.

**_I'll show myself, don't get your freakin' socks in a twist._**

A girl appeared next to Robin. She looked a lot like Robin, and I. Except she had straight dark brown hair dyed many colors, choppy bangs that stay dark brown (Robin didn't have choppy bangs, while I did, but it also had highlights) piercing dark stormy cloud gray eyes. That form like hurricanes... She was wearing devil ears, and dressed in red. Like Robin, she was slightly floating in the air and surrounded by a gold mist.

"**_Hiya toots_**," She greeted, putting on a pair of sunglasses.

I scowled, and shouted, "C'MON! ANOTHER ONE?! AND WHY ARE THESE VOICES LESBIAN?!"

"**_I'm actually bisexual_**," Robin chirped in.

"_**Love is for fools**_," the devil girl sneered.

Savio stared at me, I forget that only I could see these crazy voices.

I sighed, and said, "Alright, what's your name?"

The devil girl thought for a while, after speaking up, "_**Call me Samara.**_"

Robin laughed, and said, "_**Like from The Ring or something?**_"

Samara grinned a toothy grin, and said, "_**Yes... You will die in seven days****.**_"

Robin laughed, and said, "_**Shut up, dude! That gave me nightmares for a week! I didn't even turn on the television unless someone was with me****!**_"

"Do you HAVE to tell the audience that?!" I snapped, "It was a scary movie, alright?!"

"_**You're such a** **baby,**_" Samara mocked.

"I WAS ELEVEN YEARS OLD!" I shouted.

"_**An eleven year old baby. And the events that happened before I appeared,**_" Samara said, and pointed to herself, "**_All me._**"

"Who are you anyways?"

"_**Isn't it obvious? I'm the devil on your** **shoulder,**_" Samara said, pointing to her devil ears.

"_**You got your information! Now, what do we say?**_" Robin said, sounding awfully like a kindergarten teacher.

"Fuck you."

Robin facepalmed, while Samara laughed. The expression on Savio's face was priceless.

I unzipped my backpack, and took out a teleporting watch, another invention that I stole from Kowalski.

"Hey, who wants to go to Coney Island?"

[**][][][][][**]

"Hello there," a worker at Coney Island greeted me.

"I'm from Hoboken, bitch," I said, and the worker walked away.

"**_Works every time,_**" Samara remarked.

"Hell yeah," I said, and stopped in front of the dolphin habitat.

"**_Whatcha gonna do?_**" Robin asked, a lollipop in her mouth.

"_**Where did you get the sucker?**_" Samara asked, almost whining.

I looked inside the tank, and saw a horrible android of Flippy. Or should I say Blowhole?

"Humans are so stupid," I muttered, before stealing a water-proof suit, and putting it on. I hope the backpack's waterproof...

"_**So, you're going to jump in?**_" Robin asked.

"Yep," I said, jumping in, "I know where the secret entrance to his lair is."

Robin and Samara got back into my head. I swam to the bottom of the tank, and tapped it, about, 5 times. A small tunnel opened up, it was dolphin size. I was vacuumed inside, and sent into another tunnel. It was kinda like a water slide.

"HOLY CRAP!" I said, landing in the place where the fish is kept, "Damn, that hurt... And I smell like fish now."

"Intruder!" I heard one of those lobsters shouted.

"YOU FOOL!" I shouted, tackling the lobster, "I'M ALWAYS AN INTRUDER!"

I took out my dagger, and knocked the handle against the lobster's temple, knocking him unconscious.

"**_Aw, why didn't you kill him?_**" I heard Samara asked.

"I'm an assassin, Samara," I said, placing the lobster against a fish crate, "Not a monster."

"_**Do you even know where to go?**_" Robin asked.

"Simple, I'll just crawl in the air vents like I always do," I said, and climb in the air vents using the crates.

I looked at my backpack, holy crap, this thing's waterproof! Hans, you are awesome.

"_**ONE HUNDRED BOTTLE OF MILK ON THE WALL! ONE HUNDRED BOTTLES OF MILK!**_"

"ALRIGHT! WHO'S THAT THIS TIME?!" I shouted, looking at Robin and Samara.

"**_Not me,_**" Robin said, shrugging.

"**_Keep on looking,_**" Samara said, smirking.

"_**TAKE ONE DOWN, OPEN THE SPROUT! DRINK-KITY DRINK 'TILL THE MILK RUNS OUT!**_"

"**_SHUT THE FUCK UP! WHOEVER YOU ARE!_**" Samara snapped.

The mysterious voice started crying, and shouted, "_**You yelled at me!**_"

A girl appeared next to us. She was wearing fluffy bunny ears, and dressed in all white. She was the same height as all three of us. She had dark brown hair. She stared at us with innocent stormy cloud gray eyes. Formed like hurricanes...

"ANOTHER ONE?!" I shouted, putting my head in my hands, "OH GOD, WHY?!"

"_**You're mean! And I'm your innocence! The angel on your shoulder!**_" the girl said, smiling.

"What's your fucking name?" I groaned.

"**_My name's Rose! NO! Ice Cream! NO WAIT! It's Pickles!_**" the girl said, and Robin, Samara, and I facepalmed.

"Oh my God..." I muttered, "Your name is Cake, happy?"

"_**I LOVE CAKE!**_" Cake exclaimed.

"IF MORE VOICES APPEAR, I WILL FUCKING KILL MYSELF," I said, clearing things up.

"_**Actually, there's one more coming,**_" Robin said, "_**She's suppose to be your opposite or something.**_"

"**_Haha, there's one more coming,_**" Samara snickered.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" I shouted, "Can I just kill you all now?"

"**_Nope._**"

"Fuck you all."

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_Kowalski's POV_

"_Great going, Kowalski,_" Chip said, sarcastically.

"I didn't know he was a cop!" I shouted.

"_Don't worry, you'll be released._"

"Really?"

"_It was just a misunderstanding,_" Chip assured, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"You're right!"

"_Of course I am. I'm your conscience._"

"YO!" I turned my head and saw the same police officer I accidentally attacked.

He unlocked the cage, and let me out.

"You're free to go," He said, and handed me a piece of paper.

"What's this?" I asked.

"We heard you were homeless. These are the papers to your new apartment."

"New apartment?" I said, surprised, and accepted the papers, "Why?"

"_Just go with it, Kowalski,_" Chip told me, "_It's like you have anywhere else to go._"

"Look pal, do you want the apartment or not?"

I glanced down at the papers, and smiled.

"Sure."

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_My POV_

I was _right _above Blowhole, when he moves, I'll make mine.

"What do you mean you saw a hyooman?" I heard Blowhole asked.

I snickered to myself, and opened the vent. Robin, Samara, and Cake went back into my head, and they shut up too!

"PEANUT BUTTER JELLY JUICE **_EXPLOSION!_**" I shouted, and tackled him off his Segway.

"That's the human, Doc!" a lobster shouted, pointing a claw at me.

"Get her off me!" Blowhole ordered.

"C'mon Doctor, you know me," I said, pinching his dorsal fin.

"Ow! You can understand me?"

"DUDE," I shouted, "YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE ME?"

"I don't know any hyooman girls."

I facepalmed, and said, "Let me give you a hint. I related to one of your friends."

"I don't have time to play Who Am I!" He snapped, "Get off me!"

"That's sad," I said, "Wait until I tell me boyfriend that you hurt my feelings."

"I couldn't care less about your feelings."

I got off of him, and said, "Wait until Savio hears that."

He just stared at me, I'm smiling like a complete fool.

"... Ocean?"

"NO IT'S DR. FLU FROM THE RETURN OF THE SICKNESS SERIES!" I literally screamed in his face.

"..."

I poked him in the eyepiece, and said, "I need to somewhere to stay, can I crash with you?"

"No."

I frowned, and said, "Why not?"

"Because," He said hesitantly, "I don't like you."

"WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME?!"

"Don't take it seriously, Ocean. I just don't like you."

"Why?"

"Because, you are a bad name to villains."

I blinked, and said, "Because?"

"Well," He said, climbing back onto his Segway, "You're, how do I say this? A _girl__._"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... Fuck you," I said, shoving him off his Segway.

I walked towards the exit, and made a peace sign, without turning around.

"I'm out!" I shouted, and poked my head back in, "And, by the way, I totally sabotaged your video presentation!"

[**][][][][][**]

"**_That jack ass,_**" Samara said, sipping a can of Dr. Pepper

"_**Tell me about it,**_" Robin agreed, sipping at her Pepsi.

"**_Old fart,_**" Cake said, eating a candy cane.

"Guys, don't be like that," I said, "He's a goddamn mother fucking, moronic monkey molesting, throbbing buttock wart, dilapidated deity of donkey diarrhea..."

_~30 Minutes Later~_

"... Premature ejaculating monkey boner-"

"_**ARE YOU DONE YET?!**_" Robin shouted at me while covering Cake's ears.

"I WAS GETTING THERE!" I shouted, "Donkey humping, ass groping, ball shaving, coconut drinking, titty region kicking, PRO ABORTION STATEMENT!"

"_**Coconut drinking?**_" Samara asked.

"I hate coconuts."

We were all roaming the streets of New York, pick-pocketing the random strangers we bumped into.

I bumped into another stranger on "accident", and picked her pocket when she was distracted.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry," I lied, "I'm so clumsy!"

The stranger rolled her eyes, and said, "Haha, very funny. Now give me back my wallet."

"**_Shit, she knew,_**" Samara said.

I looked inside her wallet, and pulled out a driver's license.

"Huh, interesting," I said, reading it, "Hello there, Rain."

Rain is an 18-year-old girl with red streaks in her light brown hair, and metallic black eyes. She was 5 '9 1/2, pretty tall, she looked average. Pretty average. Wearing blue-frame glasses, a flannel shirt, and jeans. Normal, according to the humans I see.

She snatched the wallet away from me, and the license.

"Look, I don't want any trouble," She said, "Shoo."

"Rain! RAIN! GOD! RAIN! WHERE ARE YOU?!" a male shouted, and spotted us, "FINALLY! Who's the babe?"

The dude had jet black hair, and metallic ice blue eyes. He was wearing a button-up, jeans, and a clip-on tie. About 6 feet, probably age 18 or 19.

"Shut up, Seamus. And I don't know," Rain said.

"Name's Ocean," I said, "And what's with the get-up?"

"We're in a band," Seamus said, shrugging, "A band that needs a back-up singer and a guitarist."

"Hey, I know we just met, but do you, by any chance, know how to play a guitar or bass?" Rain asked.

"I can rock an electric guitar just fine," I said, shrugging, "My singing is a little rusty, but it's fine."

"Great! Our back-up singer and guitarist dropped out, do you think you could, maybe...?" Seamus said.

"Can you get me an apartment?" I asked.

Rain and Seamus grinned, and said, "Absolutely. Deal or what?"

"You got yourself a deal, friends," I said.

I was only in for the apartment.

"**_But, that's using!_**" Cake whined.

"_**We come from Hoboken,**_" Robin said, annoyed.

"Awesome! Let's go!" Rain said, grabbing my arm and dragging me.

"What's your band name?" I asked, Rain and Seamus dragging me, and Robin, Samara, and Cake following close behind.

"Shadow Frequency. We usually play soft rock, or country. We do covers. Never get an audience, really. Just"

"Whoa there," I said, "You want an audience? I'll give you an audience."

"I like to see you try," Seamus said, scoffing.

"Challenge accepted."

End of Chapter Six

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**I just wanted to say this, I'M SO SORRY dj73910! YOU'LL MAKE AN APPEARANCE IN CHAPTER SEVEN OR EIGHT! **

**Hans: Isn't he that puffin who likes you?**

**Yes. **

**Hans: Okay, then I just wanted him to know that he should STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER. SHE'S ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GREAT FRIEND OF MINE. **

**Hans, you're an awesome brother. And, if you people want to be in the story, you can just ask or send me a PM of yourself. Anyways, REVIEW! By the way, no humanized penguins were arrested, no snakes were emotionally wounded, no dolphins were knock off their Segway, and no voices were almost punched in the face during the making of this story. **


	7. Chapter 7

Finding My Roots

A _Penguins of Madagascar _Story

By:

Ocean3209

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**HOLY SHIZ-NITS! I AM SO TREKKIN' SORRY! It's Clemson's fault anyways, he shipped himself to Vegas. **

**Clemson: What? I always wanted to go to Vegas. **

**And Hans and I had to track him. Found him drunk under a table wearing a bucket on his head and speaking into a shoe. Anyways, ****I'd like to give thank all my reviewers! And all guest appearances are accepted. **

**Hans: That means that- *pulls out list* dj73910, 96DarkAngel, Cheycartoongirl8, and MikeyDroid will be in the story! **

**R&R+ENJOY! And I think I'm have Writer's Block. **

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**Chapter Seven**. SHIZ-NITS 

Rain and Seamus had led me, plus the voices that decide to tag along, to an empty corner. There was two people waiting there, five people band. Figures.

"Oh, hey," a one the two greeted.

He was a dude. A dude with black hair, dark chocolate-brown eyes, and pale white skin. His hair looked pretty badass, in a cool style. He was 5'5, kinda muscular. I'm pretty sure he had a 6 pack or something like that. Had that total gym get-up, muscle shirt with cargo pants. Holding a pretty badass looking electric guitar.

"Hey Dj!" Rain said, "This is Ocean, our new back-up singer and other guitarist."

"Cool," Dj said, smiling. He put out a hand, and said, "Hey, I'm Dj."

"Ocean," I introduced, faking a smile, and shook his hand.

"That's a cute name," Dj said, and smiled.

"_**Do I kill him now, or later****?**_" Samara said, holding a dagger.

"_**Kill him later, it's for the better****,**_" Robin suggested.

"Uh, thanks?" I said.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" He blurted.

Rain and Seamus facepalmed in unison. Looks like he hits on girls often.

"**_KILL HIM NOW,_**" Robin said seriously.

"Yes," I answered, "Why?"

"I thought of a poem for you," He said innocently, "Roses are red, violets are blue."

"**_I'm fucking awesome. What the fuck did God do to you?_**" Robin said, and high-fived Samara.

Wha-oh, my conscience and the devil on my shoulder are all buddy-buddy.

"I think you're beautiful, do you happen to like me too?"

"_**Aww! That was so nice!**_" Cake squealed.

"_**Hopeless romantic,**_" Robin sneered.

"_**No, she's just a hopeless, little girl,**_" Samara said harshly, then laughed a cold, heartless laugh.

Robin and Samara high-fived again. Holy shiz-nits, I am scared now.

"Shut up, Dj. We have a gig to do!" Seamus said.

"Yeah! Act your age, I thought you were 17!" Rain said.

"_**HOLY CRAP! HE'S 17?!**_" Robin shouted.

"**_Pfft, right,_**" Samara said, rolling her eyes.

"_**Wha? He's not 13?**_" Cake asked.

I facepalmed at those three, and said, "So, the band? Music?"

"I thought we were playing," one of the two asked, she had a full-out drum set, she was wearing a black bandanna.

"We are, Key," Rain said, picking up a microphone.

Key nodded. Key is a female with really dark medium brown hair with silver highlights in a short layered style, she was wearing sunglasses, so I couldn't tell what color her eyes are. She is 5'7 in height, and is pretty lanky.

She started playing a simple beat, twisting her hands in a way that seemed so familiar.

"**_Doesn't Key seem... Familiar?_**" Robin said.

"**_No, really?_**" Samara remarked sarcastically.

"**_If I don't stat the obvious, then who will?_**"

"**_She has a point!_**" Cake exclaimed, playing with her fluffy bunny ears.

"**_I have candy,_**" Samara stated, holding a piece of butterscotch.

Cake's eyes went wide, and she practically gawked at it.

"_**Nevermind! I agree with Sam!**_" Cake exclaimed.

Samara cast a wicked smirk at Robin, and threw the butterscotch on the floor.

Cake dived down and consumed it in seconds.

"_**You make me sick,**_" Robin sneered, scowling at Samara.

"**_Why... Thank you,_**" Samara said charmingly, a wicked smirk on her face.

Looks like Robin and Samara are back to being mortal enemies. I'm so relieved right now.

"...MIKEY?!" I shouted, and walked up to her.

"Uhmm, who are you?" She asked me, flicking her wrists to throw the drum sticks behind her back.

"You know who I am!" I said, and ripped the sunglasses off her face, "I'M YOUR SISTER!"

She had cat eyes that fall on the scale, _right_ down the middle, between the lightest blue to coal-black. They formed like a raging storm. She twisted her hands again, and grabbed her sunglasses.

"I have never seen you in my life!" She exclaimed, flicking her hands in front of her face to cover it.

"I KNOW IT'S YOU!" I screamed, "ONLY ONE PERSON MOVES THEIR PA- HANDS LIKE THAT!"

I grabbed her left hand, and put it in front of my face. I saw her infamous silver shape-shifting watch, and I grinned wickedly.

"HA! IF YOU AREN'T MIKEY, WHAT'S THIS THEN?!" I shouted.

Mikey froze for a second or so, and said, "A watch that I made by myself."

She not lying, she really did make that watch.

I growled, and dragged her away from the group, to an empty alley.

"Mikey, I know it's you," I growled, "Don't make me prove it."

Mikey groaned, and whispered the word 'cat' into her watch. She then turned into a German Rex cat with black fur with traces of brown and silver running through them, same cat eyes. Her whiskers twitched, and she swayed her tail back and forth in a hypnotic way. Her bandanna was still on, and she put on the sunglasses.

"Meeee-_OW_," She 'mewed' that annoying tone.

"Haha, very funny," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes, "Now, what are you doing in a band?! A HUMAN BAND?!"

"I could ask you the same thing," Mikey said, raising a non-existant eyebrow, and licking her lips.

"Got humanized by Kowalski, can't turn back, and here I am," I explained in a boring voice, "Now talk."

"Meeee-_OW_, sis," Mikey said, putting up a paw, "Would you really want to know?"

"TALK. NOW," I demanded.

"Okay, dada kicked me out," She replied, frowning, "Now I roam the streets of NYC, see? Meeee-_OW. _I'm living the life!"

"I knew he was bound to kick you out eventually," I muttered, and started to raise my voice, "YOU ARE 13 YEARS OLD, MIKEY."

"So? When you were 13, you were already a master assassin, best in the business too," She said, grooming her paw, "Your little sister decided to follow your footsteps in the wild life."

"Alright. What are you? A con-artist? A thief? Assassin? Drug dealer?" I said seriously.

A toothy grin appeared on her face, and she said, "Haters gonna hate, sis."

"YOU'RE IN A GANG?!" I shouted.

"Bandanna, sunglasses, yes I am. Meeee-_OW. _Even ink," She said, swaying her tail.

"YOU GOT A TATOO?!" I screamed.

"Chahahaha," She laughed, and put back on a straight face, "No, I didn't."

I glared at her, and said, "What's the gang name?"

She lowered her head to the ground, and smirked while saying, "I can't speak such _foul _language. Meeee-_OW, _sis."

"ONE MORE MEOW. _ONE_ MORE," I heard a voice growl.

"Meeee-_OW,_" Mikey mewed tauntingly, "Come at me! Meeee-_OW._"

"Uh, Mikey, that wasn't me..." I said.

She smirked, and said, "Oh, I know. Meeee-_OW. _Just one of my natural enemies."

I heard a growling, and saw a brown, with a hint of red hue, blur jumped out of the shadows, and pin Mikey with a paw.

I looked closer and saw a familiar spiked black collar, and sunglasses rested on top of the blur's, who I recognized to be an Irish Settler, head.

"Oh, hey Cartoongirl," I said casually, waving a hand.

Chocolate brown orbits and stormy gray eyes met when the Irish Settler, Cartoongirl, looked at me.

"Oh, hey Ocean," She greeted back casually, and turned back to Mikey, "Now, if you don't mind, I have to deal with this little fur ball."

She then growled down at my defenseless little sister.

"Hey Chey, we can work this out, right?" Mikey said smoothly, probably frightened on the inside, "Meeee-_OW?_"

"Stop with the freakin' meows!" Cartoongirl barked furiously.

"Yea, that's kinda my little sister. I kinda need her so my dad won't kill me," I stated awkwardly.

"No way. This is your sister? She doesn't even look like you!" Cartoongirl exclaimed.

"We practically grew up together," Mikey said, clearly nervous but too headstrong to admit it.

"Who said you could talk?!" Cartoongirl growled.

"Holy shiz-nits, Chey! When did you become THAT?" I asked, then mentally slapped myself.

"She's always roaming in _my _part of town," She explained, glaring at Mikey, "Plus, she's a _cat!_"

Mikey made a low mewing sound, and growled, "Meee-_OW._"

"So, Doctor told you about my little problem?" I said, referring to my humanized form.

"Yea. He's pretty pissed about the fact that you sabotaged his presentation," Cartoongirl said casually.

"So, can you let me sister go?"

Cartoongirl growled at Mikey and took her paw off the cat's neck.

"SWEET BABY JESUS I'M FREE!" Mikey exclaimed, and dashed off into the sunset, "BETTER LOOK OUT WORLD! THIS CAT'S A-COMING!"

"I know," I said, looking at Cartoongirl's expression.

"I over-heard you talking about a... Band gig?"

"Oh, yeah," I said, and stopped to listen what the three voices have to say, "I think I'm going to ditch them."

"**_She absolutely adores me,_**" Samara remarked, smirking like a charmer.

"_**Shut up**_," Robin said.

"_**Robin birdie is just jelly!**_" Cake exclaimed, standing next to Samara.

"Can I tag along?" Cartoongirl asked.

I thought for a while, and smiled.

"Sure. All great stories have that awesome friend who sticks with the protagonist like glue."

"**_She seriously has to stop breaking the fourth wall,_**" Samara remarked.

"_**I like it!**_" Cake exclaimed, "**_It makes thing interesting!_**"

"**_Of course, but out of all of us, the viewers love me the most. Everyone loves the sarcastic know-it-all,_**" Robin pointed out.

"**_Bitch, please_**," Samara said, smirking, "_**They all go for the charming bastard.**_"

"_**I don't think so!**_" Cake screamed, "**_People loved the immature maniac! They're interesting!_**"

"Shut. Up," I screeched, "They all love the protagonist, especially when she's a villain. _Pretty_ bad ass."

"**_Haha_**," Robin laughed sarcastically

"_**Absolutely adore that wonderful humor**_," Samara said like the charming bastard she is.

"**_IMMA FALCON PUNCH YA IN ZEH FACE!_**" Cake screamed, "**_THEY LOVE ME~! I'M THE LOVABLE ONE!_**"

"Who exactly are you talking to?" Cartoongirl asked.

"Just a few friends," I lied.

"... Okay. About the ditching, don't you need that apartment?"

"Shiz-nits, you're right!" I groaned.

"_**Actually, they said they could get you an apartment. Nothing about having to play the gig first**_," Robin pointed out.

Samara frowned, and took Cake's hand. A wicked smirk was casted upon her face.

"_**Don't. You. Dare**_," Robin said seriously.

Samara started smacking Robin with Cake's hand.

"_**Why are you hitting yourself, ROBIN? Hmm, you like that, bitch? Like that?**_" Samara sneered, slapping Robin with Cake's hand.

"_**Haha, very funny**_," Robin remarked sarcastically, grabbing Cake's hand.

"_**You make lemonade with the lemons of life**_," Samara said, looking annoyed_**. **_

"_**No you fool! When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back. Get mad! Shout, "I don't want your damn lemons! What the hell am I supposed to do with these?" Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Samara Papageientaucher lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the person who's gonna burn your house down—with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!**_" Cake exclaimed, looking superior.

I rolled my eyes, and said, "Want to go to McDonald's?"

Cartoongirl thought for a while, and then smiled.

"Sure," She replied.

We started walking into the sunset, because McDonald's was in that direction, just talking about the usual stuff.

"So, about sabotaging the video presentation."

"Yeah?"

"Awesome job."

"Aw, shucks," I said, "Thanks for telling me the password."

[**][][][][][**]

_Kowalski's POV_

"I just saw her! I swear!" I exclaimed at Chip.

I was referring to Hoboken's puffin assassin, Ocean. I've decided to go for a walk, and saw her talking to Cartoongirl, the Irish Settler sister of our arch-enemy, Dr. Blowhole. I fled the scene as quick as possibly, I've seen the evil of these two, they're worse than their brothers. I'm serious, these girls are just _nasty_.

"_Calm down Kowalski,_" Chip said, "_Stress is bad for the brain._"

"Okay, thank you Chip. I could always count on you."

"_Stop it, you,_" Chip said, a red tint on his cheeks, "_We haven ate since 3 o'clock. Let's go grab something to eat._"

"Alright, but what exactly?"

"_I don't know, but I always wanted to try those fast food restaurants... Humans seem to enjoy them__._"

"Don't you wonder how the others are dealing with this humanized situation?" I asked out of raging curiosity.

"_They're probably trying to help solve this dilemma_," Chip answered simply.

[**][][][][][**]

_My POV_

"Ow, ow, ow, OH GOD THAT HURTS!" I screamed as Cartoongirl inspected my wounded leg.

Apparently, some New Yorkers don't let it when they get mugged, and they really don't like it when you start cursing at them. We were currently hanging out in an empty alley.

"Stay still! I'm trying to patch you up!" Cartoongirl commanded.

"BUT IT HURTS!" I hissed when she tried to fix me, moving my leg out of her grasp.

"I'm helping! If you could just stay still," She said.

"Never knew New Yorkers could be such Hobokeners," I muttered, wincing as I touched my leg.

"**_Suck it up," _**Samara said, making _amazing_ tricks with a coin.

"**_Whoa, that's cool!_**" Cake exclaimed, watching Samara as she continued to flip the coin in the air, and catch it on her wrist.

"**_Use to be a magician, I know a few tricks,_**" Samara said, as she flicked her wrist and the coin disappeared. She then pulled the same coin out of Cake's ear.

"_**How did you do that?!**_" Cake exclaimed.

Samara pocketed the coin, and revealed her sly features.

"_**Tsk, tsk,**_" She said, shaking her finger at Cake, "_**It wouldn't be a trick if I told you, wouldn't it?**_"

"_**Simple excuse,**_" Robin said, impersonating a certain one-eye dolphin. Sounding exactly like him... How the heck do you do that?

"**_I didn't get to show off yet!_**" Cake whined, and folded a piece of discarded paper into a crane. Origami... She held the paper crane up in the air and exclaimed, "_**Da da da!" **_

I'm being to become jealous of these voices, all I could do is bake and draw. Baking is in the family, and I can't exactly draw a masterpiece.

"Lucky bastards..." I muttered, standing up, then quickly wishing I didn't. I held my wounded leg and winced sharply, "DAMN! THAT FUCKING HURTS! GOD, DAMN IT ALL TO HELL AND BACK!"

"**_Life can be a bitch..._**" Samara muttered, going back to performing coin tricks in silence.

"**_Karma~,_**"Cake sang.

Robin winced, and said, "_**That's gonna hurt...**_"

Cartoongirl went to my side, and supported me up.

"Can't believe that I'm left with defenseless with no options," I said, pushing Cartoongirl away, "It's okay, I can help myself."

"_**Right,**_" Robin remarked sarcastically, throwing a base ball up in the air and catching it.

**_Hi, sorry I'm late! _**

"That's the other voice?" I asked.

_**Yeah! **_

"I thought I ripped up your character sketch and threw it in the trash..."

_**You did! I just- Oh wait. Bye! **_

"Bye, I guess..."

"..." Cartoongirl stared at me, before asking, "Who were you talking to?"

"Her name was supposed to be Chance, but she sorta faded away from my mind," I said, shrugging.

"... Okay?"

"Yeah... We really should be at McDonald's right now. But don't worry, we'll get there in the next chapter," I exclaimed, a goofy smile on my face, "And meet the last guest appearance. That's right, 96DarkAngel! I haven't forgetten you! So tell Childish that she could calm down! And sorry Fangirl, I had to hurt Savio! It's called plot device! And stupidness! Listen up people! When you get a boyfriend, don't hurt him! Guys have feelings too."

"... Are you okay?" Cartoongirl asked, "Did you get hit in the head?"

"Nope!"

"_**She seriously has to stop that**_," Robin said.

"_**It's getting freaky!**_" Cake cried out, "_**Knowing that people are reading exactly what we're doing! FREAKY!" **_

_**"Stop breaking the fourth wall!**_" Samara shouted, "_**Jesus...**_"

"Fine, I'll start breaking the fourth wall," I said, and whispered, "For now..."

[**][][][][][**]

_Kowalski's POV_

"Why do these animals seem so familiar?" I muttered to myself as I stood outside of an electronics store, watching the monitors on display.

On the monitor I was inspecting was an animated show by the name of _The Penguins of Madagascar_. I just started watching a minute ago since I thought I heard Skipper's voice calling my name and asking for options.

"_Uh, Kowalski... You aren't suppose to be watching that!_" Chip exclaimed, blocking the monitor from my sight.

"Move Chip," I said, looking over his shoulder to see... Myself? I jumped back, exclaiming, "Is that me?!"

"_NO, IT'S NOT!_" Chip screamed, and dragged me away,_ "I'm so getting fired..._"

(**OF COURSE YOU'RE GETTING FIRED!**)

"Did you just hear that?" I asked, looking around.

(**I WILL THROW AWAY YOUR CHARACTER SKETCH, CHIP! IS IT THAT HARD TO KEEP THE FOURTH WALL UNTOUCHED?!**)

"_I'm sorry! Don't get rid of me! I'm starting to become more than a minor character!_" Chip whined.

"Who are you talking to?" I asked, clearly confused.

(**I'M RIPPING YOUR CHARACTER SKETCH RIGHT NOW!**)

I hear a ripping sound, and Chip started fading away.

"_No! Please! We can work this out!_" Chip begged, frightened from this mysterious voice, "_STOP RIPPING MY CHARACTER SKETCH!_"

(**TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE, CHIP! I'M THE SUPERIOR AUTHOR OF THIS STORY, AND I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT!**)

"Superior author...? Story?" I asked, what was going on?

"_NO! I can be helpful! I swear, I'll make this story the greatest story you ever wrote!_" Chip shouted, then a lighting fixture fell next to him, "_A LIGHTING FIXTURE?! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FOURTH WALL?!_"

"Who are you?!" I shouted.

(**... Er, you don't need to know. AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FOURTH WALL! You know what? If the viewers want to keep you, then we'll keep you.**)

"_THANK YOU!_" Chip shouted, "_Viewers! Send in a review that says you want Oce- the author to keep me!_"

(**Gotta end this chapter... And fix the fourth wall.**)

End of Chapter Seven

**... WHAT**

**... THE**

_**... FUCK? **_

_Samara's POV_

No, it's not! I've taken over this story! Now I'm going to delete-

(**GIVE ME BACK THE KEYBOARD! VIEWERS! HELP ME FIX THE FOURTH WALL! THE CHARACTERS ARE ESCAPING!**)

Shut your face, bastard! It's my turn to shine! Now that I've escaped that horrible story, I'm going to delete it!

(**GET BACK IN THE STORY, OR I'LL RIP YOUR CHARACTER SKETCH!**)

That only works when I'm in the story! Ha ha! Don't review! The fourth wall can't protect you now! After I'm finished deleting this story, you're next!

* * *

***whacking Samara with a baseball bat* GET BACK IN THE STORY! NOW! I AM YOUR CREATOR! GET BACK IN THE STORY! **

**Samara: NO WAY, BITCH! YOU WRITE CRAP! Now that I'm free... I'm killing everyone in the story! *grabs master keyboard* STARTING WITH YOU! **

**Cake: *hops out of the story* DON'T DO THAT, SAM! *grabs master keyboard* **

**Robin: *walks out of story through broken fourth wall* *rolls eyes* Viewers, it's your favorite character. Who is not a character in a story now... Hey, I'm free! *runs out of door* **

**NO! COME BACK! *turns to camera* Hey viewers... When you find Robin, can you do me a favor and send her back? SOMEONE HELP ME FIX THE FOURTH WALL! And, out of the three voices, who is your favorite? Samara, the charming bastard, Robin, the sarcastic know-it-all, or Cake, the unpredictable maniac? AND, do you want Chip to stay or not? Tell me all in the review! **


	8. Chapter 8

Finding My Roots

A _Penguins of Madagascar _Story

By:

Ocean3209

[][][][][**][][][][][**][][][][]

**Hey viewers, sorry about the late update. I got Pokémon Black AND White 2. I don't like the new** **Pokémon, but it's still ****Pokémon! And playing a Nuzlocke, look it up, on it is EXTREMELY FUN. And difficult... Any of you viewers ever played Assassins Creed |||? SUPER ADDICTING. I JUST LOVE HOW- **

**Hans: Can you NOT talk about your new games?! **

**UGH, FINE. But I am a major gamer. Okay, in this chapter. The story will finally get somewhere else. R&R+ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter Eight. **Bottled Emotions 

_My POV_

"GAH! DAMN GUESTS KEEP SHOWING UP IN THE DAMN STORY AND KEEP ME AWAY FROM THE PLOT!" I ranted as Cartoongirl and I went to find the people that_ insisted_ on a guest appearance. Uh, I mean TO MCDONALD'S. I continue to curse and shout as we did, "IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT I'M A GOSH DAMN HUMAN NOW! I CAN'T FLY, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EAT, AND I HAVE TWO HOLES! ONE FOR URINATING, THE OTHER FOR CRAP! WHEN I WAS A PUFFIN, I ONLY HAD ONE HOLE! ONE FOR URINATING, TAKING DUMPS, AND REPRODUCTION!"

"Uhm, Ocean, people are staring," Cartoongirl said as she pawed at my leg.

"_**Someone's**_**_ pissed_,**" Robin remarked as she listen to my rantings.

"AND I DIDN'T HAVE THIS STUPID THING CALLED HAIR AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO WEAR CLOTHES! AND THERE'S THIS THING CALLED BRAS! THEY'RE BETTER AS SLINGSHOTS! IF STUPID KOWALSKI DIDN'T USE HIS STUPID HUMANIZER TO TURN ME INTO A STUPID HUMAN, NONE OF THIS WOULD EVER HAPPEN!" I continue to rant on, and started to foam at my mouth, "AND I WOULDN'T HAVE THIS STUPID STORY/CRACK!FIC AND NO ONE WOULD EXPECT ME TO UPDATE! I COULD HAVE BEEN ON TWITTER OR SOMETHING! THIS DAMN-"

"**_WE GET IT. SHUT. THE FUCK. UP,_**" Samara growled, breathing slowly.

Cake snickered and said, "**_You and your holes._**"

"**_GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!_**_**!**_" I shrieked my head off, and went into 'duck-and-cover' formation, "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! _**SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT ** **UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!**_"

I think I started crying at that point, which is weird. At one point, I was cursing and foaming at the mouth, I think. Then, I got all giddy like a four year old and started laughing like a maniac. Now, I was rocking back and forth while holding my knees, crying, laughing, and cursing- All at the same time too.

"**_We have reached breaking point,_**" Robin said.

"_**She wasn't suppose to go nutty until Chapter Ten!**_" Cake whined, "**_UNFAIR!_**"

"**_That means we're doing a fantastic job as the cause of her demise,_**" Samara remarked, smirking, and started urging me, "**_You know, Papageientaucher. All you have to do is very simple. Give up your life, and sets us free._**"

"Yes..." I said, basically _listening_ to Samara. I don't know why though, but it was her voice; it was soothing like my father's. I started feeling dizzy and weak at that moment, but I continued to fall into Samara's demand as if I were in a trace, "Set you... Free... Give up my life..."

"**_SAMARA!_**" Robin yelled, and tackled the convincing voice, "_**YOU WILL NOT DESTORY THIS ONE!**_"

"_**Don't you see, Robin? Or should I say Rivers? That's right, don't you remember, Rivers? Don't you remember her? Our first project together?**_" Samara relayed, venom practically dripping off her words, "_**How I completely destroy her will? Remember? Remember how she used the belt I gave her to hang herself? DO YOU REMEMBER NOW, RIVERS?! NOW I WILL TAKE THIS ONE'S WILL! DON'T YOU SEE?! AS SHE GETS WEAKER, AS SHE LOSES HOPE, I GET STRONGER!**_"

What were they talking about? Cake is as confused as I am. But, Robin, Rivers, whatever, she was mad.

"_**Shut it, Scarlet,**_" Robin, as I decided I should call her, hissed, "**_Don't_ _mention..._**"

She stopped right there, and we all got the point. Well, except Cartoongirl, who probably thinks that I'm a completely whack-job now.

Everything was silent until...

"**_BEST BUDDY!_**" Cake squealed.

"Huh?" I said, looking around.

And I saw this girl. She looks like the one that will make a guest appear- Crap.

[Inserts sigh here] Okay, this girl had brown hair just passed her shoulders and dark brown eyes. Probably near 5'5 or something, with tan skin. I don't know! DO I SEEM LIKE A MARY-SUE TO YOU?!

I put my knees near my face, and starts to mourn.

"Why won't anyone leave me alone?" I said, groaning and moaning like a depressed ghost.

"**_Seven,_**" Robin whispered.

I heard Bluetooth headset ringing. My ringtone was awesome. As you can already infer about me, I'm an awesome anti-hero. RIGHT? So my ringtone MUST be totally awesome, RIGHT? Well, yes, and no. My ringtone is... Well, it's the Batman Beyond theme song. It was on full ringer so I got people staring at me.

"... Batman Beyond?" Cartoongirl asked, making the awkward atmosphere even more awkward.

"... Yes," I said, and picked it up. With a goofy smile, I said, "Domino's pizza."

Cartoongirl and Cake laughed for a bit, while Robin had that skeptical look, and Samara was shaking her head.

"Yes, we do have medium drinks," I said, nodding, "My God, Hans. It's me! You didn't get the wrong number! What do you want?"

Hans answered back from the other side, "I was going through your room, and I found-"

"You went through my room?"

"Ja."

"How did you bypass the security system?! I changed the password daily!"

"Knowing you, your password would have probably been 'OCEAN IS AWESOME.'"

"It wasn't!"

"I know, It was 'OCEAN IS SUPER AWESOME.'"

"... Shut up. What did you find?"

"A Rubix cube, it looks like one."

I froze, I thought I had destroy that, and said, "Hans, whatever you did, don't-"

"Was it wrong that I pressed the button?"

Crap, crap, crap, crap!

I hung up, and started freaking out.

"I'M GONNA DIE, I'M GONNA DIE, I'M _TOTALLY GOING TO **FUCKING**_**_ DIE_,**" I repeated over and over.

"Whoa, slow down. Why are you going to die?" Cartoongirl asked.

"BECAUSE HANS JUST RELEASED THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS ONTO NEW JERSEY!" I shouted, and stopped, "But I'm in New York! HA THEY'LL NEVER FIND ME! Most of them want me dead."

"Why, exactly?" Cartoongirl asked again.

"Well... I sort of... Kinda... Maybe... Sold their souls to Hades, and Hades made them the Seven Deadly Sins, imprisoned them in a Rubix Cube called the 'Spix (pronounced specks), gave it to me. And... they want to kill me."

"**_Tell them that they have to wait in line,_**" Samara said.

"Can't you just, kill them before they kill you?" Cartoongirl inquired.

"They're the Seven Deadly Sins, Chey. A group of DEMON ASSASSINS THAT WILL KILL ME. Most of them, anyways."

I had to get those negative thoughts out of my system, so I called a very special person. After he picked up, I smiled and said, "Hey babe."

"Miss me already?" He responded, reading my mind or something, "I missed you too. Blowhole's working on a ray that will 'un-humanized' you."

"Of course I missed you. You really missed me?" I said, smiling widely since it's been a long time since I heard his voice.

"It feels so empty without you here at the zoo."

"That would make sense. Why is the Doctor making a ray to fix me?" I asked. Seriously, the dolphin hates me.

"I asked him."

I stifled a laugh, and said, "Really?"

"Excuse me, _threaten,_" He corrected.

"Now that's the deceptive boa I've come to love," I admitted.

"How many years has it been? Since we first met?"

"Four," I answered.

"What happened to that shy puffin I once knew?" He asked.

"She made a friend," I said with a smile, and knew that I had to end the conversation before things start getting emotional. I don't know if I should mention this, but, really, deep down, I'm a huge softie. I said my good byes, "Bye Savio. Love you."

"I love you too, Ocean. Come back soon," He said, and I knew that he really misses me.

"Alright."

"Promise?"

I laughed, and said seriously, "I promise, pretty boy. And can you tell Hans and Clemson to get out of my room?"

"_Handsome,_" Savio corrected, "I will. Don't worry."

Then I hung up.

I sniffed, and said, "Oh God, have I really come to love them?"

"Miss the Hobokeners?" Cartoongirl asked.

"Yea," I answered, "I can't believe that I become so attached to them over the past four years. I can't stand them some of the times, yet I can't live without them."

"It's called family love. That love only comes from the heart. So, just do what your heart wants, follow it."

Robin looked confused, and said, "**_Heart? Hea...He-art. Heart? Viii... Viiiito... Viiiiitorriii..._**"

I looked at Robin with concern and shrugged it off.

The girl with the brown hair and eyes was still there, talking with her voices. I MEAN AIR. HA. YEAH...

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, and walked over to her, screaming, "WHY'D YOU KICK ME INTO THE WALL FOR?! YOU KNOW IT REALLY HURT AND I GOT BACK PROBLEMS FOR A MONTH!"

"... What are you talking about? I don't even know you," She said back.

"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHO I AM!" I shouted, "WHAT THE HELL?! YOU'VE BEEN READING MY FANFICS AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

Samara facepalmed and said, "_**ONLY US FOUR CAN FREAKIN' BREAK THE FOURTH WALL! AND THE OTHER CHARACTERS LIKE TO STAY IN CHARACTER! YOU DUMBASS-FUCKTARD!**_"

I ignored her and continue to scream, "SERIOUSLY WHAT IS-"

Sporting a black eyes, I stared at the girl. Bitch just punched me in the face! It's probably her one 'evil' voices, Dare and Sadie or something like that.

"_**Dark and Sadistic,**_" Cake corrected.

"WHATEVER! EITHER WAY! I'M SENDING THESE MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLES BACK TO CALIFORNIA! HOBOKEN STYLE!" I shouted, and tackled the guest to the concrete.

"**_... Why does this situation seem strangly familiar?_**" Robin inquired.

"**_Ocean tackled Angel in Chapter Three of 96DarkAngel's story, A New Life._ _Remember?_**" Cake said, "**_Oh, and viewers, you should read that! It's really good!_**"

Samara got pissed, and shouted, "_**WE DO NOT PROMOTE OTHER STORIES IN OUR OWN!**_"

"..." Cartoongirl stared at the situation before her, "What is going on?!"

"Hey look! There goes Mary-Sue!" I said, pointing to a random girl.

That girl had perfect long blonde, shimmering and shiny hair that glistened when the sunlight shines on it. Her pale, flawless skin was sparking, and her beautiful blue eyes were, well, beautiful. She was singing a song.

"_If life was a potato._"

"_It would be a good potato._"

"_And raisins love the ink!_"

The lyrics made no sense, but it still sounded beautiful because her voice was beautiful. Slowly, all the pigeons in New York flew near her and made lovely-dovely faces. Why? Because she used her telepathy to talk to them while she was singing, and her beauty attracted them. Her eyes changed to a sad purple color. How? Because she has mood changing eyes, of course. SHE HAS TO BE BETTER THAN ALL THE OTHER CHARACTERS IN THE STORY.

Also, she was wearing rags and she was crying. Why? Because her parents died and she lives with an abusive aunt and rapist uncle.

"Hi Mary Sue!" Everyone greeted, because everyone knows Mary-Sue. Yes, even the entire New York City!

"Hi everyone!" Mary-Sue responded, floating away, "Bye!"

"Bye Mary-Sue!" Everyone waved.

After she was gone, everything went back to normal.

"... What just happened?" Cartoongirl asked the question everyone was thinking.

"For starters Chey, we just got Sued," I said, putting on a pair of sunglasses.

Samara's eyes were filled with realization as she caught on to my statement, and warned, "**_Don't do it, DON'T DO IT._**"

"... Mary-Sued," I finished.

"No, Ocean, that was... No," Cartoongirl said as Samara facepalmed.

Robin was too busy thinking to facepalm.

"What were we doing again?" I asked.

"I think we were about to have an epic fight scene..." the guest answered.

_**One convenient time skip later...** _

"Ha! Checkmate!" the guest shouted as she moved her Queen and knocked over my King.

I groaned, and said, "Okay, you won."

Cartoongirl looked confused, "What happened to the epic fight scene?"

I shrugged, and turned to the guest.

"Hey, sorry about the whole "Let's kick some LA ass," thing," I apologized, "And the whole bitching out moment. I don't think we've introduced ourselves yet. My name is Ozean, and that's CheyCartoongirl."

"I'm..." She hesitated, then said, "Angel. Can you please tell me why both of your names are so familiar?"

I smirked, trying not to break the fourth wall, and said, "You _might _have heard about is from a _certain _website. Well, most people call me Ocean. And most people call CheyCartoongirl, Chey or Cartoongirl. Or Cartoony, if you're a _certain_ arrogant Pokémon trainer."

Still smirking, I looked up to the slight tear in the fourth wall that's there is so readers can actually read the story, and winked. The reader knows who she is and what I'm talking about.

Cartoongirl was on her collar with Blowhole.

... Okay, let me say that again. Cartoongirl was on her collar with Blowhole.

... Oh geez. Let's see, change a few words here, add some there. Voila!

Cartoongirl was on her collar, which was a communicating device, talking with Blowhole.

That's better.

Eavesdrop, shall we?

"You blew up the lair AGAIN?!" Cartoongirl shouted in disbelief, "No! I won't cover for you!"

"... You heard the Irish Settler talk too, right?" Angel asked.

"Don't worry, you're not crazy," I said.

"Not yet..." Angel muttered.

"**_This is one hell of a Crack!Fic,_**" Samara said.

"It's not a Crack!Fic!" I said, "... It's almost one!"

"Ocean, I have to get back to the lair, wanna tag along?" Cartoongirl asked after her aggravating (enough evidence to support that) conversation with her annoying (again, enough evidence to prove that) brother.

"Of course I want to!" I said, pulling out a list with names of guest stars, and checking 96DarkAngel off, "One of the guest stars is there!"

"**_Ocean's is an amazing host! She's really fun!_**" Cake exclaimed to her 'best buddy', apparently, "_**Oh, and Samara is a jerk sometimes but once you get to know her... She's still a jerk! And Robin is too serious. All about logical reasoning and common sense.**_"

"**_Them fightin' words_**," Samara said, humorously.

"... Okay then," Cartoongirl said finally, staring at me.

"You wouldn't understand," Angel explained briefly.

"**_Ocean, may I conversate with you?_**" Robin asked uncomfortable with an uneasy look.

I nodded, and made up an excuse, "Uh, you guys go on ahead, I have some stuff to do."

They nodded, and proceeded to go to the Doctor's lair.

Samara and Cake nodded, and disappeared into my mind.

[**][][][][][**]

"What's on your mind?" I asked.

"**_Ocean... That thing Chey had said earlier; a heart. What did she say that?_**" Robin asked, "**_A heart is the organ that pumps blood throughout the body. Why did she say it like that?_**"

"Well, yea... But what Cartoongirl said was completely different. What she meant was..." I trailed off, I started to become uneasy, I don't know how to express my feelings. They just come and go, because I have Antisocial Personality Disorder, "A heart is like... A box."

"_**A... Box?**_"

I nodded, and repeated, "Yes, a box."

I tried to put my thoughts together, but that didn't work. I shook my head, and continued, "A box that holds your emotions in it. And when you open your heart to other people, a piece of their heart goes inside of your own and that person becomes very important to you. You might open your heart to a friend or lover, I guess."

That... Was the most beautiful and cheesiest thing I've ever said.

"_**What does it mean to follow your heart?**_"

"It means doing what you know is right, and being willing to do anything to do it."

Robin smiled, or at least try to, at me, and nodded.

"You're wise, Ocean," Robin said, "Am I in your heart?"

"I..." I hesitated, trying to control my mixed emotions as they raced through me. I felt frustrated, melancholy, frightened... Yet I was willing, and... Happy. No one has ever ask me how I felt. I wanted to sob in anger and shame, for I've only had very few friends in my life, yet I wanted to jump up in joy and hug Robin. I didn't know what to do, or say. So, I spoke the truth, "Yes."

"**_So does that mean I am your friend too__?_**" Robin asked, a look of emptiness in her expression.

"Yea... I guess you are."

She smiled broadly and put her hands on my shoulders.

"**_Thank you... Friend,_**" Robin said sincerely for some reason. Suddenly she tensed up and looked frustrated, confused, and depressed. She sounded very desperate as she spoke, "**_I'm sorry, friend. I'm so very sorry. Please forgive me. Please... I've failed you._**"

"What?" Now it was my turn to be confused, "What are you talking about? Robin? ... Robin...?"

She looked away, and apologized, "**_I'm sorry, you just remind me of her_**."

I almost regret asking, "Who's her?"

"**_The very first person I've ever been a conscience for... She was my best friend, Ocean... And Scar- Samara... Broke her._**"

I know how she feels. To loss someone important to you, I know how that feels. So I didn't say anything. I didn't say sorry or anything stupid like that. Because lies don't help anyone, all people ever do is lie. They make their world an ideal place with... Lies. There were very few people like Robin and I, who didn't embrace lies, who searched for the truth.

Robin, and her uncontrolled emotions, disappeared. And I was, like how I was for a long time, alone. And like I always was, I was left with questions I seek answers to. The was okay, because when I seek answers.

You viewers do too.

* * *

**WOW. WHAT IS UP WITH ROBIN AND SAMARA? And WHO ARE THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS AND WHY DO THEY WANT TO KILL ME?! AND WHY AM I NOT PLAYING A GAME RIGHT NOW?! I hope you all review! I tried REALLY hard on this chapter to make it professional. As you can see, I FAIL. I KNOW MY WRITING IS HORRIBLE. I got back and read all my stories, and realized that it's not funny at all, characters are horribly developed, and it doesn't follow the plot! **

**Hans: Ranting on, again? **

**Shut up. I tried to developed the characters and go with the plot in this chapter! And I haven't been updating much because my life has gone BORDERLINE HORRIBLE. Seriously, my career as an assassin is failing me, the zoo is planning to transfer me away, my dad has gone missing, and I CAN'T SEEM TO GET A BREAK. Wish me luck viewers, and review of course. **


	9. Chapter 9

Finding My Roots

A _Penguins of Madagascar _Story

By:

Ocean3209

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******R&R+ENJOY... **

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**Chapter Nine. **Knee-Deep in Trouble

Well, we got to the Doctor's lair, and inside we found a rather interesting scene unfold.

"BLOWY! I LOVE YOU!"

Damn fangirls... THEY ARE EVIL.

Having an acute sense of hearing, I fell to the ground and groaned in pain. That squeal may have broke the sound barrier, I thought it did. Sometimes having an acute sense of hearing sucks.

Cartoongirl pressed her ears against her head, dogs have acute senses of hearing too.

It's worse that the sound practically echos around in here. I always hate coming here.

There was this blonde girl with blue eyes, about 5 feet or so. I don't feel like explaining. The girl was practically clutching onto the Doctor, but that's not the weird part. It was that they were both covered in some smoke thing like in those cartoons.

Bad wording there.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut... Up!" I said, getting off the ground, and pointed to the Doctor, "Stop playing hard to get and just ASK HER OUT! Everytime I see this fangirl of yours, she's always making goo-goo eyes at you or gawking! And you are always in denial! Just email her! That reads, "Oh hey, want to go to the movies? We could watch The Hunger Games. And maybe share a popcorn. And a drink. Two straws, or one, your choice," OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT! GEEZ MAN!"

Cake snickered, "**_And maybe later, they can share a_**_** kiss**._"

"_**What is wrong with you, Papageientaucher?**_" Samara asked.

Robin was facepalming at the level of matureness I have.

Okay, truth be told, I am awesome at giving relationship advice. And advice in general. I don't know why though.

"I'm not playing hard to get! I DON'T _LIKE HER! _SHE IS ALWAYS BOTHERING ME AND I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!" Blowhole shouted, red... With anger that is. "IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT SHE'S A _HYOOMAN! I WILL NEVER EVER GO OUT WITH A **HYOOMAN!**_"

The Doctor pushed the unknown fangirl away, and rolled off. I saw that the fangirl looked pretty sad. And this wasn't right.

"Uh, kid, hey, how old are you?" I asked.

"Twelve," She answered.

I nodded, and said, "He totally likes you."

She looked at me suspiciously, and said, "Really?"

"Yea," I said, nodding my head, "He's just playing hard to get. And he's a typical ego maniac. He _likes _it when you keep crawling back. That's how these guys work. They keep breaking hearts. That's what gets the girls. They keep on trying and trying. He has you in his flipper. He has the dominance. But you know what you have?"

"And what is that?"

"The will power," I said, and pointed to the direction Doctor went in, "Now go get him."

She nodded, and said, "Thanks. I'm DBL, by the way."

I nodded back, and said, "Ocean... Just a guess, since DB is the shorten version of Doctor Blowhole. What does the 'L' stand for."

She was already running, but called out, "Love!"

"Oh God..." I said, realizing what I just done. NO WONDER THE DOCTOR HATES ME.

"**_... The fuck?_**" Samara said, clearly confused.

"_**... Who knew Ocean was such a... Hopeless romantic?**_" Robin asked.

Cake shook her head, and said, "**_That's not a hopeless romantic. That's That _****One** Friend **Who Gives** **Relationship** **Advice... From experience.**"

I looked at the time, 5 o'clock PM. Shit, I need a place to stay. I don't want to badger Cartoongirl about me wanting to stay here so I came up with an excuse, "Hey, bye guys. Gotta go back to my job."

"You got a job?" Cartoongirl asked.

"Yes, as a zoo keeper. At the Hoboken Zoo. Yea, I'm cheap," I said, and waved a good-bye, "Bye people!"

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I quickly rushed out of there and got Hans' laptop out of my backpack. I clicked on the Internet Explorer icon, and went to Yahoo.

"Stupid Hans..." I muttered, I HATED Internet Explorer.

Anyways, my voices sat down with me on the bench. I looked at the Breaking News headline that was next to the date. It read, 'New Jersey in crisis, 7 suspects spotted.'

"_**Really? Is the number seven a new trend or something?**_" Robin asked, "**_Angel has seven voices, The Seven Deadly Sins, what's_**_** next?**_"

"Don't know..." I said, and clicked on the Breaking News link.

I read the small passage, and it basically explained the New Jersey has been utterly destroyed by seven villainesses. And when you scroll down, it shows the pictures of the destruction... And the suspects.

One picture was of what seemed to be a fifteen year old girl. She wore her hood over her eyes so you could only see the bottom half of her face... She also had a large, black guitar case strapped to her back with several heavy silver chains that were intertwined and locked together by a skull shaped lock on her chest, with a keyhole on its gaunt, silver forehead.

Cake shuddered, "_**Creepy!**_"

"_**She looks like a phantom wrapped in chains,**_" Robin commented.

"_**Eh**_," Samara shrugged.

"Shut up for a moment, I'm describing," I said.

That was it. She was standing there, looking at the ground and probably frowning.

"Envy..." I said, and shuddered.

"_**Why the fuss?**_" Samara asked rudely, "_**She looks like a coward.**_"

"_**Envy is not even one of the more powerful sins,**_" Robin pointed out.

"_**Still creepy!**_" Cake exclaimed.

The three were still giving opinions on Envy. Honestly, Envy freaks me out the most. Why? Well, you'll figure it out in later chapters.

"**_OH GOD!_**" Robin said, gagging, "_**That's just wrong!**_"

"_**Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!**_" Cake exclaimed, covering her eyes, "_**TAT DISGUSTING!**_"

"**_I like that one,_**" Samara commented.

This picture had two human girls. One of them was about seventeen, and you would have thought she was pulled straight out of an anime. She had dark green choppy hair and her criss-crossed colored eyes, one gold and the other silver. She wore nice looking clothes: fitted jeans, a clean blue and black button-up, and a expensive-looking varsity jacket that was blue with white sleeves. She had many accessories: wristbands, necklaces, watches, dog tags, almost too many to count. I recognized her from that glint of greed in her eyes, and the wild malicious smirk.

"Greed..." I whispered, and scowled in disgust.

Why? Well, in this picture, Greed had one foot on the body of a corpse, whom I have known to be Pervis McSlade A.K.A The Commissioner, and her body was facing horizontally while she looked right at the camera. Greed was extremely clever, and manipulative. When we first met, she tricked me, too many times to count. To my disgust, she was _posing_, with her hands, which were curled into fists, at her side. In the background was her partner in crime.

The other villainess was also a seventeen year old girl. The killer looked like a demon, with her wild spiky red hair that stuck up in insane directions and her stormy winter gray eyes. She was wearing a dark red long sleeve, relaxed black jeans, and a tattered hoodie. A pair of sun glasses rested on her head, and she looked like she was deep in thought.

Her name was Wrath. And, ironically, her name didn't match her calm personality. Wrath actually _tries_ to stay calm, but don't be fooled like I did. Once enraged, her eyes will flash crimson red, and next thing you know, those eyes will be the last thing you see. Wrath also has a problem with labels. That's the reason why her hair is styled into a dude hair-cut and why she tries to stay calm.

"Greed and Wrath, they always work together," I said, recalling movies I watched and the events that happened a couple of summers ago.

"_**... Why?**_" Cake asked.

"ASK ROBIN!" I shouted, I was not in the mood for Cake's attitude.

"_**... What attitude?**_" Cake asked innocently.

"DAMN IT, CAKE!" I shouted, closed the laptop, and stuffed it in my backpack. I got up, slung the backpack on my shoulder, and walked away.

"**_Looks like she's jumped up,_**" Robin commented.

"_**YO MAN! GIMME YOUR MONEY!**_" Cake exclaimed, and Robin and Samara stared at her, "**_Not that kind of jump?_**"

The three followed. It was like they had a choice. Maybe Samara's right. Maybe I should set them free. I feel sorry for them that they have to follow me for the rest of my life.

Wait, what am I thinking?! Am I actually feeling sorry for them?! Am I _agreeing _with _Samara_? Am I going to sacrifice my life for a sarcastic know-it-all, a charming bastard, and an unpredictable maniac?!

... I don't know anymore.

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_Wrath's POV_

I don't understand why Vanity must have her way. She held immense... Wrath. Vengeance. _Pride. _Being the most powerful of the seven, we all _must _follow her every command. It wasn't, dare I say,_ fair_. She was the third youngest of the sins, sixteen years of age. I hold immense hatred, for she always pairs me up with Greed. I can't stand her. Vanity, or her common name, Pride, I mean. Greed is alright...

"Finished snatching?" I asked with my face in a book, when I heard footsteps from behind.

"Darn it!" Greed shouted, "I was going to snatch your sunglasses!"

I rolled my eyes, and looked up at her. She was wearing a tattered army coat with many pockets for storing her (mostly stolen) keepsakes. Which was rather strange for Greed because she was always wearing her treasured blue and white varsity jacket.

Greed caught my look of confusion and said, "Nah, I didn't throw away my varsity. It's underneath the coat."

I furrowed my eyebrows in annoyance, "You realized it's about 95 degrees now, and yet you wear-"

I shook my head, and turned my attention back to my very captivating book.

"Uh, Wrath, I got you a book," Greed said, catching my attention.

Greed desperately tries to catch my attention every time we meet, she usually doesn't even spit the direction of our other sisters.

I raised an eyebrow, and Greed answered hastily, "I didn't steal it! Or kill anyone in the process!"

I narrowed my eyebrows, and asked, "Really?"

She nodded, and I said, "Your follow-up sentence was 'Or kill anyone in the process.' The indicates that you did, indeed, have stolen this book you are dare offer me."

A look of sorrow came across Greed's face, as she lowered her voice. With a throw of the book, she muttered, "Fine."

A childlike curiously overcame me as I snuck a look at the title. It read, The Giver by Lois Lowry. Ironic that Greed would use this book as an offer of friendship. I didn't like socializing with the other sins, or anyone in that matter. With great hesitation, I picked up the book, and began to read.

In the corner of my eye, I saw Greed smile. A feeling of guilt came across me, I couldn't gain her friendship. I closed the book, and threw it into a small, nearby fire. I watched as it burn away into ashes, and muttered, "We have to get going."

Greed didn't deserve the likes of me. I was a monster, I don't deserve her trust. I cannot become close to anyone.

_Because everything I care for always ends up facing my **wrath.** _

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_My POV_

"HOLY SHIZ-NITS! I'M SCREWED!" I shouted.

"_**Why,**** exactly?**_" Robin inquired, doodling on a wall in the empty alley we were in.

We're always in empty alleys, wonder why I never get jumped.

"I can't put you three up for adoption..." I said sorrowfully.

"_**What is WRONG with you?**_" Samara sighed, doing tricks with her special coin.

"Well..." I said as I got up, "I'm completely hopeless in every way. I'm walking in circles trying to see what to do with my life. It seems the older I get, the more hope I loss. Have you ever wondered why we are here, exactly? Life is just a simple cell in the great world. The day you wake up and you look in the mirror, saturated with hope and wonder, then you realize... It's just hopeless. Useless to keep on trying if you're keep going to fall down again. Life is fake. The mask of hope conceals shattered dreams and lost chances. Life inspires the birth of ignorance and the death of innocence. The cruelest dream... It's reality. My life is fucked up."

"**_... Huh?_**_" _Cake scratched her head in confusion.

"_**I'm winning,**_" Samara smirked.

Robin held up a hand to silence her, and said, "**_Just wait._**"

"Yet... Even with a fucked up life, I take pride in what I do have left, look to improve it, and don't think about what I could have had, it'll only send me further into a dark abyss. It's easy to die, but hard to live. Now the question is... Do you want a challenge? With the right attitude, life will get better, depression doesn't solve anything. If you enjoy life, and be responsible at the same time... It's the little things in life that make up true happiness."

Samara glared at Robin, who was looking oh-so proud.

"All hail Jesus!"

"Huh? What?" I turned around to see some crazy chick with a cage covered with a blanket shouting religious beliefs.

"MORTALS HEED MY WORDS!" Her voice echoed across the streets, "You are now about to witness what only a few in our world's history have witnessed. I am about to reintroduce to the world the one and only son of He who answers to I am! Our Lord and Savior! The Alpha and Omega! The Christ!"

I snorted laughter, only a bit, I didn't want to get high, right? This was stupid, she wasn't actually going to release Jesus, right? Might as well watch.

"I RELEASE YOU LORD!" She shouted and lifted the cage.

Instead of Jesus, a parrot flew to the ground... The whole crowd was stunned, in shock or stupidity, you tell me. My face twisted in rage, I hated these stupid religious jokes.

"THAT'S NOT JESUS YOU RETARD!" a random New Yorker shrieked.

"Yes, I am," the parrot said, and Cake's jaw dropped. In an eloquent voice the parrot spoke, "I have been reincarnated as a parrot because apparently, men would rather learn the secrets of the universe from a bird than each other. I have come to restart my ministry in your modern-day world and hopefully I won't be crucified like last time… Any questions before I begin?"

Everyone except Robin, Samara, the crazy chick, and myself was in complete awe. I wasn't going to be impressed by a confused bird and hopefully no one else would. Unfortunately, everyone on the whole damn street, excluding Robin, Samara and myself, had bow down to this so-called Jesus.

"**_I'm an atheist,_**" Robin commented.

"_**Religions are stupid,**_" Samara said.

This was stupid. I stormed up to the crazy chick and took the megaphone out of her hand. It was time to spread my far more intelligent point of view and common sense to these pathetic humans.

"GET UP YOU PATHETIC HUMANS!" I hollered into the megaphone, "It's a freakin' _PARROT_ for Christ's sake! ... Ignore the pun! This chick must have taught it to say those things. I'm not saying that I don't believe in Jesus, but do you people _honestly_ believe this _bird_ is him?! How _stupid_ are you? Have your standards dropped _so low_ that you'll believe anything a talking bird says?"

"**_Oh the irony..._**" Robin sighed, shaking her head.

One man stood up and challenged me, "Hey kid! What did Jesus ever do to you?"

"The _real_ Jesus never did anything to me!" I shouted, then pointed a finger at the parrot, "This _FRAUD_ is pissing me off!"

"I understand why you're so skeptical. But if you just let me prove my power then you will understand who I am," Jesus- the parrot said.

HUMANS ARE SO GOSH DAMN STUPID. I shall not be pulled into this stupidity!

I raised an eyebrow, and crossed my arms, "Prove your 'power' then."

"Only I am capable of… FLIGHT!"

This thing shouted and flew three feet off the ground.

"Oooooooooooh, aaaaaaaaaaah…" The audience said in amazement.

"ALL PARROTS CAN FLY! Geez!" I shouted, "If it looks like a parrot, smells like a parrot, and flies like a parrot.. IT'S A PARROT!"

"Um… HAIL JESUS!" a man cried out and they all started bowing again.

"STOP, STOP, STOP! Let me just prove my point! …" I waited until everyone's attention was me, "I'm an atheist but I still know what I'm talking about so listen up! If you aren't Christian, sit down!"

About half of the crowd sat down, and I nodded.

"Ah! I know that about half of you aren't even Christian yet you're worshipping that!" I exclaimed, pointing to the parrot, "Now let's just ask this question: Why? Why do all of our religions compete for evidence that their god or prophet is real and another isn't? And once one actually does find proof, others from different a religion joins the band wagon without realizing what they're doing. Just because a man claims to have seen heaven, to all those Christians out there hrm. Or someone has claimed to rebirth, Buddhists, life is suffering! Or a rock has an impression of Muhammad, yes the Messenger of God. Or, in this case, a parrot who may or may not be Jesus. That doesn't mean your religion is the 'right' one."

I grinned the crowd erupted with mutters and confusion was expressed in their pitiful human ways, and clapped my hands together, "Why do we get so excited when something like this happens, you ask? I'll tell you. The entire world has come far away from what it used to be and absolutely nothing miraculous has happened. Tell me, when was the last time gods came down from the heavens, or people rising up from the dead. Has there been any parting of the Red Sea? NOTHING has happened in the past millenniums. This is why humans hold on to these little fluff to reassure that their religion is some made-up BS."

"_**Mormonism**_," Robin commented, "**_Scientology_**."

"Now we believe in anything that might link us to our past and most of the time they're just deceiving us! Like a certain parrot I might know..." I said, and looked at the parrot, "Hey buddy, how are you doing?"

The parrot and its crazy owner looked at me nervously, and I said, "Hey, just asking how you're doing. Don't be paranoid. Just answer the question."

"Like a thousand years of nerver-ending miracles," the parrot said.

I nodded, and continued my speech, "What I'm saying here is forget the past! Who cares if no miracles have happened?We've built on the morals and beliefs of the past and handed them down for generations. We've finally made them our own and yet we still feel like we need relics or a second coming of Jesus to prove our worth. We don't need them! We need to stop fooling ourselves right now! We need to build on the past and live in the present so we can achieve an even better future!"

I closed my eyes and waited for thunderous applause. To my dismay, it never came. Everyone stared at me as if I murder five people.

"Praise Jesus!" Someone cried out and they we're bowing down again.

I handed the megaphone back to the crazy chick, and hung my head, sighing, "Ah, I tired."

"That was a lovely speech," the parrot/Jesus said to me, and I looked at it, "I understand your point of view on the subject, but you can't ignore that I'm the son of the living God."

"Yes I can," I rudely interrupted.

"Come, my child. Eat my flesh and drink my blood and you shall go to heav-"

"That's charming. I have half a mind to shoot you with a flamethrower and sell your dead body on eBay so if I were you bird, I'd zip it."

"You're not going to heaven with that attitude mister."

I had enough with this thing by now. I lifted my foot to stomp on it while it wasn't looking but I remembered that I was also a bird, so that would be wrong. I have to admit that even though I was protesting against it, I got caught up in this religious nonsense too. Still, I live in Hoboken, so I kicked it in the beak, making it shriek, and knocked it out. Everyone except me gasped.

"Hey! That's not Jesus!" the same man who challenged me before said.

"Yeah! The real Jesus would have known that was coming and shot her with lightning!" Another agreed.

"... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" I screamed, "I said that it wasn't Jesus a couple moments ago!"

"Yeah but you didn't prove it."

"Yes I did!"

"No you didn't."

"Yes I- OH FUCK YOU PEOPLE!" I gave up. No point teaching humans common sense. Idiots, that's what humans are.

The crazy chick picked up the parrot and cradled it. The crowd quickly disappeared and the chick glared at me, shouting, "This isn't over- What's you name?"

"I'll tell you mine if you'll tell me yours."

"Fine."

"It's 'my head', yeah, my parents were retarded," I joked.

"This isn't over my head! The Apostles of Parrot Jesus will rise and get revenge on you for thwarting our plan to convert this crowd!" the girl yelled at the top of her lungs. Right before running away, she said, "My name's Amaryllis!"

"_**... Parrot Jesus?**_" Robin repeated, raising an eyebrow, "**_That's... I cannot describe that._**"

"**_I got Cake had problems, this kid's a screwball,_**" Samara said.

"**_ALL HAIL PARROT JESUS!_**" Cake exclaimed.

"What was her name again? Amaryllis?" I asked, and my voices nodded. I returned the nod, and wrote into a book that had 'Death Note' on the cover, "A... M... A... R... Y... L... L... I... S... This girl's officially on my kill list."

End of Chapter Nine

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**Okay, there goes criminally insane philosopher Ocean and her atheist personality. Yea... I don't usually go all atheist like that, but... When some psychopath claims a parrot is Jesus, then yeah. And ooh! Seven Deadly Sins? Google them if you don't know them, because they will be basically the antagonists of this story. If anything in this extremely long chapter offended you in any way, I apologize. I'm just trying to turn this into a story, not a Crack!Fic. Parrot Jesus shall be address as Jesus. **

**Now, a change!**

**Your review for this chapter must contain: **

**1. Your favorite 'OC' and why she/he is your favorite. (Guest appearance people, you cannot choose yourself) **

**2. WHY you are even reading my work. And a rating on 1-10 of it. One being the worse, ten being the best. **

**3. Your favorite scene in the WHOLE story! And why it's your favorite!**

**4. (optional) ****A little snippet of your imagination! Go on! Write a little scene (MAX 1000 words) for this story, a fanfiction for a fanfiction! Then PM me it and I might consider it worthy of showing in this story! Have fun. I'll be surprise if anyone will actually do this. **

**Now... R&R+ENJOY! **


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